Two great workshops going on:
Lynn Viehl, whom I idolize, does a fantastic online workshop every year called Left Behind and Loving It. As always, there will be some very talented authors joining her in blogging on various writing-related topics. There's great prizes being given away daily to anyone who leaves a comment on the posts.
Also, Romance Divas are doing a Not Going to the Conference Conference. You have to register to access the site, but is quick and easy. And Josh Lanyon, He Whom We Adore Muchly, is doing a post on m/m fiction.
So, this arsehole is actually selling pirated ebooks on Ebay.
Amongst his ill-gotten wares, are books by Terry Pratchett and Dean Koontz, as well as a disc with 550 erotic romance books:
these 550 ebooks are in LRF for the sony reader
can be supplied in PDF for adobe
publishers include such names as :-
CHANGLING , ELLORAS CAVE , LOOSE ID.
AUTHORS INCLUDE:-
ALEXIS FLEMING
ALICE ORR
ALICE GAINES
ANASTASIA BLACK
J W MCKENNA
JADE BLACK
ASHLYN CHASE
JEIGH LYNN
RAINE WEAVER
RUBY STORM
SAHARA KELLY
TARA NINA
TIELLLE ST CLARE
TITANIA LADLEY
VIVI ANNA
Cheeky little bastard.
Anyway, apparently the powers that be at Ebay aren’t all that interested in doing something about it, but if enough of us pick some of his listings and file a complaint, they may step in and do something.
Anybody can report an illegal listing and copyright violations are illegal.
What you need to do is:
Scroll down to the bottom of the list and click on report listing.
From there, there’s a drop down menu asking reason for report.
Click on “counterfeits and copyright violations”.
You then get another drop down box, and you need to click on “other potential infringement”
Then another drop down box, “offering to electronically send or receive copyrighted materials”
(He’s obviously burning the discs, so it’s applicable.)
Then a brief descrption box comes up and all you have to do is mention that he’s selling copyrighted material without authorization
I realise some people wont give a crap about what this seller is doing, but if enough of those people who do give a crap, lodged a complaint, then the Ebay peeps might have to take action.
I just don’t understand how Ebay can allow somebody to blatantly sell pirated e-books on their site. This dickwad has a disc with 49 Terry Pratchett books that he’s selling for $9.71, for crap’s sake. It’s just so wrong.
Freaking arsehole.
ETA: You all rawk! Just woke up and went to check fucktard's page...all the auction items have been removed. Yay!
BlurbWhen a shy, virgin erotica writer with a tool belt fetish crosses paths with an outgoing carpenter, the fireworks soar. Introverted Larry has an active imagination, and Marty is just the man to draw him out of his shell. When circumstances send the boys on a road trip together, they start to get to know each other, and they like what they see.
The problem is that Larry worries about the motivation behind his feelings, while Marty’s tired of the single life. He’s ready to settle down and has been looking for Mr. Right. Will opposites attract and make their dreams come true, or will Larry’s insecurities keep him from seizing love?
**This is just a rec for a book that I liked muchly when I read it a few months back. I'm not going to do a full review, because I did some beta reading and medical consulting on this story. I feel weird about reviewing a book I beta read, because if it sucks, well why didn't I say something earlier??
It should be noted that while I have been doing much beta reading lately, don't deluge me all at once in an effort to keep me from reviewing your books, lol. There is a short list of authors I like enough to consult for. I liked Addison's work long before I was asked to beta read anything, and wouldn't have bothered if the writing was much of the suckage. I'm not a cheerleader or anything. It's good or it aint. Can't help anyone figure out how to unsuck themselves.**
So..yeah. Go here, get the book, and enjoy another lovely read from Addison Albright.
Blurb:Police Detective Riley Ellison has a new habit...stopping by a coffeehouse called the Java Pit on his way to work. The coffee’s good, but it’s not the rich flavor that lures him to drive blocks out of his way each morning, and it’s not an addiction to caffeine either. He’s half-embarrassed to admit it, but it’s the man who keeps him coming back. The long-legged, painted-on-jeans-wearing, dark-haired, edgy sex god with the teasing eyes. He’s everything Riley—who has a history of geekdom and being flustered around hot men—is not. Riley knows he should put a stop to the daily forays because nothing can ever come of it. Guys like that aren’t interested in men like him. Yet every time the hunk meets his gaze across the crowded shop and aims a sizzling grin at him, Riley gives in and comes back to participate in the silent, sexy flirtation another day. Needless to say, the last thing he’s expecting when he goes to question a witness about a murder at a local gay strip joint is to discover the witness is his coffeehouse hottie.
Dane Scott works as a stripper strictly for fun. He doesn’t need the money—he’s got plenty in the bank from his other career. He just likes to have something to keep him busy a few nights a week. When one of his fellow dancers turns up murdered outside the strip club, the police detective who shows up on Dane’s doorstep asking questions is none other than the sexy, blond cutie he’s been flirting with at the coffeehouse for weeks. Riley Ellison’s a fascinating contradiction—rugged, strong, serious-eyed hero and bashful boy next door. A combination Dane finds all too appealing and a refreshing change from the selfish, shallow men he’s known and dated in the past. From the moment Riley flashes his badge, Dane’s determined to show the skittish cop they can make magic together.
The heat between them quickly soars to the boiling point and not even a murder investigation can cool the passion they share. That is, until new information on Riley’s case implies Dane may not be all he seems...
Bottom line up front:
Another lovely Rhodes novella, but not as steamy as some of her other books. There's smexing to be had, but not much overall. Oh wow, an actual romance as opposed to porn sold as romance. New trend?
The rest:
Riley is a nerd after my own heart. Skinny and dorky as a teen, he eventually hit the gym and joined the police force. Now he's a muscled dork, which is even sexier. Dane agrees, and is understandably attracted to the quiet guy who comes into the coffee shop a few times a week for a boring cup of regular java.
Accurately deciding that Riley wasn't going to come out of his shell enough to do more than shyly smile across the room, Dane makes a plan to spice up Riley's life...literally. He rather adorably arranged with the barristas to give Riley a more exotic coffee, complete with a cup decorated in purple hearts and Dane's phone number. Riley, the dork, panics and stops going to the coffee shop, because he doesn't know how to make the next move. Even if he did know what to do, he couldn't figure out how the stunning Dane could possibly want a nerdy cop.
Fate has to step in and help the two out in the form of killing off a few patrons of the club where Dane strips. Riley gets a list of the club's employees and begins interviewing them. He was a bit surprised when he knocked on his last door of the day and came face to face with Dane. He asks a few pertinent questions, but wraps it up fast so they can get to the smexing part of the program.
I have a hard time believing someone as conscientious as Riley would get wet and wild with a potential suspect right after questioning him in correlation to a murder case, but Riley spent enough time after kicking himself in the ass for his lack of restraint that it didn't trip my bullshit alarm. He was kicking himself harder when another witness put Dane in the alley where one of the bodies was found shortly before the murder occurred. Oops. Honest Riley confessed his lapse to his partner, and decided that he wouldn't have any further contact with the sexy stripper until after the case was over. After that, it was up to Dane to convince Riley that they did have a good thing together that could last.
I've been a fan of Rhodes' m/m stories for some time. This isn't the best book I've read from this author, but it definitely didn't suck. Besides, there was a paragraph in the story that was absolutely apropos of nothing, but made me laugh anyways. Riley, telling Dane about his sister's many husbands:
“Any siblings?”
“I have one sister, Carol, who’s eight years old than I am. She’s
here in town. She didn’t go into law either, but that was okay
because she married a lawyer, which my dad thought was perfectly
dandy. Of course, she divorced him five years later, much to my
parents’ chagrin. Then redeemed herself by marrying a surgeon the
year after that. By her third marriage, they forgave her and decided
she was still ‘traumatized’ by the surgeon’s cruelty to her.”
“What did he do to her?”
Riley grinned. “He wouldn’t buy the summer villa on Lake
Como in Italy for her. Said her tastes were too expensive and if she
wanted things like that she needed to get a job.
Fairly sure I'd like working with that doc. As someone who's not fond of trophy wives, that amused me muchly.
Trophy wives aside, Bring the Heat didn't have the level of heat the title suggests, but was a good, solid read nonetheless. Get your copy here.
Blurb:Billy has no idea what prompts him to take in a ragged, dirty man off the streets. All he knows is that Montana calls to him somehow, and that he always listens to his instincts. Montana, or Tanny, thinks that Billy is crazy, because nobody is that nice. Not in his experience, anyway.
Tanny brings all sorts of problems with him, from addiction to trouble with the police. Billy is determined to make Montana whole again, and he thinks he knows just the thing to replace Tanny's favorite high. All Billy has to do is help Montana get back on his feet, and then he can teach Tanny all about his lifestyle.
Too bad no one believes that Tanny is redeemable, least of all Tanny. Billy's friends threaten to become overprotective, the people who populated Tanny's life on the street pop up at the most inopportune moments, and Tanny thinks that Billy is far too good for him, a homeless guy fresh off the reservation, scarred and way less than perfect.
Can Billy convince Tanny to give him, and their newfound relationship, a chance? Or will the reality of Billy's lifestyle scare Tanny off just when life is starting to get good again?
Bottom line up front:
Started out slow for a Sean Michael, but never fear, fans of the pornolicious. As with any SM story, rabbit boinking abounds in the second half. The Billy and Tanny in this book didn't match up to what we've been told in other books, which perplexed me some.
The rest:
For those who have been following along with the rest of the Hammer novels for some time, you already know Billy and Tanny from various parties at the club and at Ollie's house. Those characters? Not evident here.
Found goes back to the beginning, when Billy was a lonely guy renting an apartment and Tanny was another homeless tweaker on the street. Tanny snags Billy in the street and asks for money, but super smart Billy offers to buy Tanny a meal rather than giving up money that will likely only go to more drugs anyways. The almost trademarked instant attraction is there from first hello, but Tanny thinks Billy is weird or wanting more than he's willing to put out and makes a break for it back to his spot under the boardwalk. Unfortunately, Tanny's habit kicks in and he buys the wrong stuff from the wrong guy and ends up in jail.
There's only one person who can help Tanny at this point: the weird guy who bought him food and offered to help get him off the streets. So he calls Billy to come bail him out of jail, and the two go back to Billy's place. Tanny, however, is still dealing with ghosts of the past and decides he's still a no-good fuckup. He runs back to that boardwalk spot as soon as Billy goes to sleep. Idiot. Billy finds him and spends the rest of the story convincing him that he's a person worth knowing and loving.
Cute and sweet and all, but my last memory of Billy and Tanny is at a pool party at Ollie's house in Spoken. Tanny was getting his butt...tanned...as I remember. However, in Found, Tanny is this little shy thing who doesn't want to meet or even look at Billy's friends, and I can't reconcile Cute and Shy and Not Wanting to be in Public with my earlier impressions of Tanny, which sort of suggested exhibitionist if he's plugged and getting whupped with a paddle in public at a party. Granted, readers have met Billy and Tanny through the POV of other characters, and here they're talking as themselves. But I was sort of hoping to see the progression from how they met to how Tanny became the guy willing to get hand prints on his ass in front of others, and that didn't happen here.
I've always been a fan of Sean Michael's work, and Found didn't change my opinion of that at all. Written in Michaels irrepressibly porno style, the story had the all the usual elements: kink, a fist in a colon, lots of smexing. Fans of Sean Michael will absolutely get a kick out of this latest book in the Hammer series, although it would be a lovely afternoon read for people who aren't as familiar with the series as well. If you're not into BDSM, never fear. There's some light spanking and lots of biting, but nothing too hard core. Another BDSM Lite story.
Get your copy here.
So I pulled three books at random off the TBR stack yesterday and inhaled all of them today. 3 books. In one day. And it's only 3:15 in the afternoon here. Withdrawal, it pains us. Even more shockingly, I didn't hate any of them. Not squee-ing or anything, but no major wtf moments. I'll be typing up reviews as soon as I can be arsed to...which should be in the next 20 mins or so, lol.
This is your space to tell me how much you all missed me (or wail with dispair that I'm back to reading your books, authors), while I get back to doing what I love best...reading and reviewing.
*sniffles* Missed you fuckers. Really, I did.
Blurb:In Victorian London, people lament over dreadful news in the paper. Give them a scandal, though, and they want blood.
An outspoken reporter, Collin Foster, is used to keeping his desires silent. When he encounters a handsome and mysterious man, he’s tempted to step out of his carefully structured life. For one night, he will follow his passions.
And one night is all the man needs to change Collin...forever...
Bottom line up front:
Definitely not cute and bubbly like COOKING WITH ERGOT, nor was it particularly a romance. More like a one night stand gone horribly wrong. And does anyone else think the dude on the cover looks like Brad Pitt?
The rest:
Collin is a 19th century investigative reporter who recently wrapped up a horrific expose on a murderer who captured kids and did some pretty sick things to them. The murderer ended up face planting into a fire, thus relieving the universe of his presence. Shortly thereafter, Collin's friends take him to a local cat house to blow...off some steam. Unfortunately for Collin's friends, the guy isn't exactly into boobs and skirts. He quickly sneaks out a side entrance and grabs the first hack going away from the brothel.
Coincidentally (of course), a stranger appears out of the shadows just as the carriage pulls up, and the two end up agreeing to share a ride. They get to talking during the trip, and the talking somehow segues into a kiss. Also coincidentally, they're on the way to Strange Dude's hotel, so Collin goes up for a little slap and tickle. Everyone is having a gay old time til Strange guy bites Collin's neck. Our intrepid anti-hero is so surprised that he bites the guy back. He's a bit shocked to find out that blood doesn't taste half bad.
Ok, so Strange Guy, de Sonnac, is a vampire, and now Collin is too after drinking a healthy swig of the guy's blood. The two are about to join hands and skip of happily into the sunset together to enjoy immortal life, but first de Sonnac has to take care of the business that brought him into town in the first place. It seems that de Sonnac was a Templar way back in the 14th century, and one of his shield brothers who lived in London had been killed recently. This shield brother had gone a little insane and had killed some kids, but the guy had been honorable once and de Sonnac wanted to avenge the guy the murderer had once been by killing the reporter who had done the story. Collin takes the first opportunity to make himself scarce, before de Sonnac figures out who he is and makes him extinct.
I'm sort of hoping that this book has a coming sequel, because there are so many unanswered questions here. Collin is fairly well-developed as a character, but we didn't really learn much about de Sonnac...like what the heck is the rest of his name??
Also, there were a few contradictory bits in the story. Collin makes vague references to playing the field a bit at University, but when he and de Sonnac hook up, he's surprised at seeing penis up close and personal and suggested he sort of only snuck the occasional glance at his own dangly bits.
De Sonnac did not wear under things.
His member was beautiful. Long, with a thick body and an
elegant, tulip-shaped tip. A line of skin surrounded the base of the
tip.
From the few times Collin had dared glancing at his own organ
in that state, he knew it was foreskin.
Huh? Not sure if I buy that a 30-year-old deeply in the closet guy had only a passing relationship with his own twig and berries, and never looked them in the eye.
The scene goes on to make me giggle some:
Collin shifted, glancing back. Was this it? Was de Sonnac
completely inside—
Oh.
No, he wasn’t.
De Sonnac slipped his hands over Collin’s hips. Then, he
pushed, inching deeper into Collin.
The pressure that had gathered in Collin’s sac swelled. It grew
tighter. Sharper.
And then pleasure jolted through him. It pulsed through his
body and out of his member, spotting the bed, the pillow....
“Collin?”
De Sonnac’s voice was soft. Breathy. It was one of the most
delightful things Collin had ever heard.
“I’m well,” Collin said. His voice was quiet and edged with a
pleasant huskiness. He had never heard himself use that tone. He found it charming.
Did....he......just....before the guy even had a few inches in? And he thinks is own voice is charming? And really, once a guy shoves his bits in another guy's rear end, surely he can at least share his first name?
I didn't hate Written in Blood, and I definitely wanted it to be longer. I don't know that it was so much a romance, if your definition of romance is a story ending in HEA or even HFN. Without completely spoiling everything, the ending was rather...open ended. However, as strictly a historical/vampire tale, I enjoyed Prieto's writing. The author's style lends itself well to paranormal stories, with engaging characters and fascinating twists on old cliches. Here's to hoping we meet Collin and de Sonnac again.
I just haven't read anything interesting lately.
All the new books are too boring, too derivative, too cliche, too 'didn't I just read this book? no? well, it seems like it." I'm so bored with the new releases that I can't be arsed to write anything about them, and I'm sort of scared to read books I've really been looking forward to. I've been reading mostly stories from my keeper shelf to be safe.
Meanwhile, the pile of books I need to review grows exponentially. Might kick them all to the curb and start fresh, with the exception of a book I promised Fae I'd review, and a book I really want to read by Josh Lanyon but just can't right now. If I get disappointed by a Lanyon, my world will come crashing down, so have been putting it off for weeks.
Meh.
I read this a while back and absolutely enjoyed it, and I think most readers of m/m will as well. Full disclosure: This isn't a review because I did consult on a very small section that dealt with a medical issue in the book. Because I beta read that part, I can't in all fairness review and rate it. I'm weird like that.
But still, if you like Addison Albright, or are looking for a new author who won't make you spork your orbs, check out this book, for sale here:
There are several pubs out there who don't like my reviews. Tough titties. I'm in this for other readers, not the publishers or authors. There's other blogs out there who cater to publishers for free books, and always rate books at the high end of the scale to keep the freebies flowing. Uh...yeah. I'm definitely not one of those people. May have to compile a list of those blogs for my next post *snickers*.
Sooo...my fave m/m epubs and autobuy authors there, in no particular order:
MLR Press: Classy authors with some seriously awesome books. I can't think of a single book I've read from MLR that I absolutely hated. The drawback here is that the majority of the books are print only, and most of those prints are of books that have been published in eformat elsewhere. Autobuys: Josh Lanyon, Laura Baumbach, James Buchanan.
Loose ID: Although they're on the long list of pubs that don't like my reviews. Heeeeeee! (or maybe not?) But I do like about 90% of their m/m, and they have a large stable of authors who are autobuys for me: Josh Lanyon, Anne Cain, Katrina Strauss, Jet Mykles, Morgan Hawke. With Anne Cain and PL Nunn rawking the art department, they've also got some of the best covers out there.
Amber Allure: They've been slacking lately, but this m/m division of Amber Quill Press still puts out a good percentage of readable slashy stuffs. ML Rhodes and writing duo Jamie Craig are some of the best out there, and they've got some wonderful reads over at AA. Must reads: Draegan Lords series.
Samhain: I really wish they'd put out more m/m. They average maybe one book every other week, but what little they do publish tends to end up on my keeper shelf. KA Mitchell, JL Langley, and TA Chase all have some must reads over there. Just avoid Batshit Crazy Woman From Down Under's books. Really.
Torquere: Yes, I *know*. They've got more shenanigans and less editors about than anyone. Still, they've bitch slapped at least one editor into correcting the majority of the mistakes, and have made an obvious improvement or two. There may very well be 5 actual live authors writing for them, but those 5 and their many pseuds aren't half bad. I haven't loved everything I've read from there, but there's very little that's truly sporkable either. Autobuys: Chris Owen and Sean Michael.
Aspen Mtn: I've only recently started reading ebooks from them, but I've been fairly impressed with this press so far. An absolutely must have? Luisa Prieto's COOKING WITH ERGOT, which I absolutely adored.
That's where I get the majority of my books. There are a few other places, but these are the ones I go to once a week every single week without fail to see what's new.
Thinking the person who made this knew me a few months back, before I jumped off the deep end and went ana.
Blurb:A chance encounter in an alleyway has Ryzel, an incubus, chasing after Quinlin, the Gifted human who almost interrupted his most recent meal. Quinlin’s prickly attitude doesn’t stop Ryzel from trying to find him because a Gifted human such as Quinlin is the richest possible food source for an incubus. It certainly doesn’t hurt that Ryzel also finds Quinlin beautiful.
Quinlin is frustrated and annoyed that he can’t get Ryzel out of his mind after only one stolen kiss. A second encounter with Ryzel in a bar leads Quinlin to make the life-altering decision to sleep with the object of his obsession to purge Ryzel from his mind once and for all. One night of pleasure reveals details neither intended to tell the other about themselves. The wheels of destiny are set into motion.
Bottom line up front:
*LOVED* this book to the point that I sat in shocked disbelief when I got to the last page. But...but...it can't be over yet! Ryzel didn't tell Quin his name!!!!!
The rest:
This book started with a bang. Literally. We meet incubus Ryzel in a back alley behind a club, where he's banging and feeding off his latest...donor. He's rather rudely interrupted by a stick shoved into his back in the not fun spanky way.
Quinlan is a blind human who comes from a long line of rather unusual Gifted people. Quin's Gift is that he can see auras. Because if this, he has limited sight ability, but it only extends to living objects. He still trips over inanimate objects if he's in an unfamiliar place. Quin was wandering past the alley while running errands, hears the commotion, and assumes that someone is being attacked. He rushes to the guy's rescue, only to be confused by Ryzel, who has an odd aura with a mysterious blackness that he can't quite decipher.
Ryzel is instantly captivated by the cranky human, who doesn't seem to be afraid of anything or anyone. Quin has no problem whacking people with his cane to put them back in place. Both are oddly attracted and drawn to each other without really knowing why. It takes a visit from Ryzel's father, none other than the Prince of Hell Asmodai, to explain what's really going on. Asmodai orders his spawn to mark Quin and keep him close, because Gifted humans when mated to a demon can increase both their mate's power and their father's.
Quin was really too cute for words, even with his irascible temper and willingness to knock anyone out. Everyone around Ryzel tends to cower around the incubus, but Quin regularly shouts at the guy and turns him down repeatedly, apparently resistant to Ryzel's powers of seduction. Quin has help from visions his grandmother told him about long ago...and a few tattoos his grandmother insisted he get when he was very young that are meant to level the playing field a bit in the demon world.
Ryzel is constantly exasperated by the blind human, who slips away in the middle of the night and seems to know far too much about demons. He was already determined to possess Quin, and that determination was only increased when Asmodai tells him what Quin means to him. Despite is almost casual cruelty towards other demons, Ryzel is actually quite hilarious when left to his own devices, as his thoughts occasionally showed.
Now, in addition to hunger, I was starting to feel true desire. Although incubi feed on sexual energies, we didn't need to feel desire to eat. Feeding and sex were actually two separate things for us, and generally, wanting a meal didn't make us want sex. To want to eat and have sex at the same time was a fairly rare occurrence and almost never happened to me when I was with a human. Hell, if succubae and incubi could get away with a fast hand job to feed instead of penetration, it’d make things a whole lot easier, not to mention quicker for us. Not to say the sensation of penetration wasn’t nice, but there were times when you just wanted a quick snack instead of a sit-down dinner.
The dance between human and demon was fun and funny to read, and I was genuinely sorry to see this entirely too short book end. Blind Desire stopped rather abruptly, in a way that was actually jarring. I'm hoping the lopped off finish is due to it being part of a series, because I'd love to see these two characters again. There were many questions left unanswered, and several things that should have happened but didn't.
Either which way, Blind Desire was an absolutely lovely read. Definitely the best story I've read in the last month or so. I highly recommend this book.
Blurb:To say Harlan Sheppard is hot for teacher would be the understatement of the year. Working closely with Professor Sawyer Addison has taught Harlan one thing. Persistence doesn’t always pay off. With graduation only a day away, Harlan is willing to do anything to get the object of his affection to see him as more than just another student.
Unbeknownst to Harlan, Sawyer sees his sexy TA for exactly what he is—an attractive, brilliant man who just so happens to moonlight as a stripper. A fact Sawyer discovered one night at Tricky Dix, a gay strip club. Since then he’s been avoiding the club—and Harlan—like the plague, refusing to allow his career to be overshadowed by his lust. At least for a few hours more. Until graduation.
Harlan has waited long enough. He’s ready to show Sawyer just what makes Harlan the hottest headliner around. And if Sawyer won’t come to the club, Harlan will just have to take his show on the road…straight into Sawyer’s bedroom.
Bottom line up front:
It was interesting, at least. A skid mark over the tacky line, but I did have to laugh in parts.
The rest:
I do have to say that the dedication sort of set the tone for the entire book.
To the cute little twink on YouTube who inspired me with his suggestive striptease, proving that inspiration sometimes comes from the unlikeliest of places.
Because with a backhanded compliment like that, who needs actual admirers?
Harlan is a TA who is hot for his professor. Unfortunately for Harlan, Sexy Professor is one of the minuscule number of teachers who have a moral or two left and won't sleep with one of his students. Tension seemed to get worse between the two when Sawyer walked into his neighborhood gay strip club, Tricky Dix (blah?), to see none other than his mostly naked student bumping and grinding on stage. To avoid the appearance of impropriety, he never went back to the club again while Harlan was still his student.
Things start looking up...literally...when Harlan is ready to graduate. He finally confronts his super sexy professor and confesses his unrequited love for the guy, only to be turned down yet again because he doesn't officially graduate until the next day. To sort of stoke the fires and ensure that the two will fall immediately into bed as soon as the graduation ceremony is over, Harlan sends Sawyer a super sexy video of him stripping in a bathroom. Shower scene and oil and stroking off included.
No stoking of the fires was really needed, because Sawyer has been secretly in love with his favorite student for years. Not surprisingly, the two get together and relieve their aching balls of a few gallons of sperms. Sadly, Sawyer also let his inner jackass out at the same time, and had some rather interesting conversations and inner musings during their encounters.
“Harlan.” Sawyer’s insistent tone was louder the second time. “Harlan.”
Harlan shook his head in an attempt to clear his lust-fogged mind. “Huh?”
“Run more than your gaze over it. Try your tongue.”
Sawyer picked up the lube and flicked open the top. He dribbled the cool gel onto his fingers and made them nice and slick before slipping them back into Harlan’s tight hole. He was quick but he was thorough. The needy groans made him want to toss the lube to the side, forget any and all preparations, and sink deep. But he couldn’t. He just worked faster, with the knowledge that the smoother he made the tunnel, the better the train ride would be.
Nothing says 'romance' quite like having your colon compared to a train tunnel. Although one has to wonder why the old 1-2-3 finger stretching would actually be necessary if he were already that wide open.
Surprisingly, for all the years I've been reading m/m romance, I actually hadn't heard of cock voice. Luckily for my edification, the phenomenon was explained in loving detail.
From the way Sawyer was fucking his face, Harlan knew ice cream was definitely on the menu tomorrow. Not that he minded one bit. He would gladly speak with a gruff voice for the rest of his life if it meant having Sawyer’s cock for an appetizer every night.
I liked Harlan as a character. He was a stripper working to make money for school and living expenses. Although he was called many names and had even more insinuated against him by Sawyer, he was a good kid who knew exactly what he wanted and was balls to the wall going for it. Definitely a character most readers can relate to.
Sawyer, on the other hand, was surprisingly socially inept for someone who makes a living communicating with other individuals. He constantly blundered with Harlan in ways that had him kicking his own ass repeatedly. Still, that didn't stop him from saying some rather vile things, and continually calling Harlan a whore because he stripped for a living when it just wasn't true.
A squick moment in the book came when Harlan's parents and younger brother showed up for his graduation. His brother treated him to a rather in depth conversation of their parents popping Viagra and getting drunk and then going at it for hours in the hotel. Ick. That part could have been taken out of the book without having anything missing from the core story.
Overall, I didn't hate the YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR HAT ON, but found it to be a mediocre attempt at creating what could have been a fabulous idea. I approve of the inspiration, but the execution left much to be desired. However, the cover is just adorable.
Blurb:
The only relationship Robert's ever had just fell apart, dissolved along with his bookstore business. He doesn't even know how to be single, since he's been partnered his entire adult life. The gay resort town of Seaside's a chance to relax and heal. Blakely's in a similar boat, except his one relationship didn't last that long at all. He heads for Seaside, hoping to get away from his prejudiced Southern upbringing and play the field a little. Then he meets Robert, and everything gets turned inside out. In Seaside, their hearts may not be their own. They find themselves amongst the Queenies and the Meanies--gangs who rule Seaside with a bitchy limp wrist and a leather-clad fist. Once the gangs set their sights on the two newcomers, they'll do anything to keep the men from setting their hearts on each other.
Bottom line up front:
Is...is this a joke? Are these two authors making a funny at my expense? Dunno if I should be amused or horrified. It was this bizarre mix of West Side Story and Romeo and Juliet. Seriously...was this book a joke?
The rest:
Like all good parodies, this book starts with tragedy in the form of two spectacular break ups. Robert was with his partner for over a decade, and the two owned a book store together. One day, his partner casually tells him right before opening time that the store wasn't going to open. Ever.
Blakely didn't fare any better. He was out walking the streets and his boyfriend popped out of a back alley and tried to pick him up, not recognizing him in the dark. How delightful.The two converge on this gay summer resort town called Seaside, and the circus begins.
Robert has rented an apartment. His real estate agent neglected to tell him that there was a sort of annual summer turf war going on between two rival gangs: the primped and prissy Queenies, and the hairy, leather daddy Meanies. Unfortunately for Robert, his apartment is right next door to Meanie HQ, and he's immediately conscripted to their cause.
Blakely has accepted a summer job with a local lady who lives in Seaside year round. It wasn't until he got there that he found out about the gang rivalry....and the fact that he was working at Queenie HQ. Of course, pretty Blakely got drafted to their gang.
The two meet and fall in love, but as members of rival gangs, are basically forbidden from seeing each other. Desperately in love, the starcrossed lovers get together with another friend and hatch a plan that, if successful, will allow them to live in peace and happiness forever more.
Uh....yeah.
I fail to understand why Robert and Blakely just didn't move to another place, or why neither could just stand up and say that they were not interested in being part of anyone's gang or silly turf war. Not everyone in the town was involved, so it's not like being part of one gang or the other was a required activity.
In addition, some of the imagery left me reaching for my trusty spork:
Lounging there was a large man wearing what Robert could only describe as a studded leather jockstrap. His chest and beer bellywere shaved down to rough stubble. His nipples were pierced. And when his eyelids popped open, he revealed the most unfortunate crossed eyes Robert had ever seen.
"Come meet the Meanies." And with that, he jogged off across the street, furry butt cheeks bouncing behind.
*dunks head in brain bleach to erase that* No want!
Robert and Blakely end up having to act like teens and sneak away to get a few private moments. Uh...why? They're adults, they're on vacation, and it makes absolutely no sense that they're letting perfect strangers dictate who either is allowed to date. Still, they finally get caught doing the freaky sneak, and it ignites what is supposed to be a rumble, but seems way to comical to call it that, precisely.
"I'm throwin' down the gauntlet!" Big-D hollered. He removed the fingerless leather motorcycle glove from his left hand and threw it violently onto the pavement of Market Street.
Before the crowd could look up from the symbolic but frightening gesture, a silk glove floated down on top of it.
I...uh...really? This IS a joke, isn't it? Somebody at LI is messing with me. Not. Funny.
I haven't read anything by these two authors before, and I don't anticipate that I shall be wasting any money on them in the future. I can't imagine what audience they were writing for, but if you're looking for a romantic comedy- emphasis on the comedy- then you might like this book. Looking at it strictly as a parody or mockery of the m/m genre, it might even be funny. All of the tropes were certainly there, lovingly exaggerated to the point of caricature. I didn't even get to focus on the romance elements here because the rest of the book was so over the top.
I'm a bit torn. I don't know if I hated this book or found it mind bendingly brilliant. NOBODY writes this bad, do they? I vote Surf 'n' Turf is a massive joke on m/m readers, in which case it's sorta hilarious.
Raise your hand (or just comment) if you:
Keep BOTH a condom and a fun-sized lube pack in your wallet.
Have extra tubes of lube hidden in your couch, your coffee table, the shower shelf, and a kitchen drawer.
Leave a trashcan next to your bed specifically to toss used condoms in.
Pre-stretch your partner using the 1-2-3 finger technique. Or just one tongue, which oddly always seems to be the equivalent of three fingers.
Use precisely the right amount of lube and never spill on the sheets/couch cushions/kitchen table.
Are one of those mythical guys who can have three or more orgasms back to back to back with nary a break in between, and shoot jizz to the ceiling every time.
Can wake up in the morning after a night of sex and have more sex, but still manage to keep your swizzle stick perfectly, pristinely clean...without your partner having used an enema or anything. (don't all guys shit, shower, and shave in the morning? how do you get past that first one without your bed getting extra chocolately in the morning?)
Inquiring minds are spinning in a burning vortex with the need to know. Really.
Blurb:Lovers for centuries, Mordred and George's relationship is strong enough to withstand anything--or so they think.
With dragons and magical creatures appearing every day, George risks everything, even to the point of losing his lover, to maintain the balance between the Realm of Dreams and the human world. Mordred can see George slipping away and, for the first time in his long life, insecurity creeps through.
As the presence of old lovers, new friends, and deadly dragons cause cracks in their foundation to form, Mordred and George must discover how far they're willing to go to save their world and their love.
Bottom line up front:
I liked the first one better. This sequel was disconnected and entirely too melodramatic.
The rest:
I absolutely adored Here be Dragons when I read it a few years back, and it's had a treasured place on my keeper shelf ever since. So it was with great joy that I read the long-awaited sequel, Dreaming of Dragons.
Kael and Hugh are back with their guardian angels/jerk off buddies Mordred and George. They pick up mostly where they left off, trying to find out the source of the breach in the magical realm that's allowing dragons, mermaids, and all other manner of mythical creatures through to the mortal realm. However, that storyline took a backseat to the first...oh forty pages or so of melodramatic nonsense.
Kael's old school buddy, Van Offerman, is still around from the first book, assisting the scientist in trying to find out how to destroy the verious dragons, etc that keep popping up. Hugh gets unreasonably jealous of all the time the two are spending together at work, thinking that now that Kael has gained a few healthy pounds and a little self-confidence that maybe he'll wander off to find someone else. He worries that maybe Kael has been using him to rebound after the last abusive relationship.
The story flips back and forth between Kael/Hugh and Mordred/George. The latter couple are having issues of their own. Mordred finally decides that no matter how much he likes Kael and Hugh, George is spending entirely too much time with the mortals helping them fight dragons, and not enough time focusing on the elf. After centuries of the two being together constantly, the elf has forgotten how to share George's attention with anyone, and has rather childish tantrums whenever he feels he's not getting his fair share of the dragon slayer's regard.
Thankfully, both groups get over their insecurities and go back to trying to save humanity from whomever is out to try to exterminate them. Still, the story switched back and forth not only from Hugh and Kael to Mordred and George, but also to George and Mordred's past and how they met and hooked up. The flashes to the past were a bit confusing, because I failed to see the relevance to the present story. I'm guessing that the author was trying to slide in bits of their backstory for interested fans, but I don't know that it was entirely successful in execution.
There were a few interesting twists on conventional lore here. Mordred is an elf, but elves in this universe seem to be some sort of cross with a vampire mix. Although there were actually vampires too, so I'm not sure where the distinction would have been.
Mordred growled. Obeying the unspoken order, George arched his head back, giving his lover access to his throat. He climaxed as Mordred‟s teeth pierced his skin...
Mordred moaned, taking more of George's blood.
The book did make passing reference to this drinking of blood, with Mordred making some off-hand remark that he took George's blood occasionally to strengthen their bond, rather than actually needing to feed off it to sustain himself.
Another twist was Chase's portrayal of Gaia, the Earth Goddess, who is generally thought to be nurturing. Here, she was a cold, calculating bitch, running her court full of malicious jackasses and delighting in the squabbling and bickering going on. It didn't quite compute, but...well, artistic liberties and all.
The overall impression of the story was one of a disjointed and vaguely disconnected tale that the author sort of wrote more because it was promised to fans rather than an actual desire to write the story. It read as something very labored, so one can only imagine what it was like to have to hammer it out. The usual flow and elegance that has been Chase's trademark style is noticeably missing here, to the definite detriment of the story. It feels rather anti-climactic after the awesomeness of Here Be Dragons.
Chase is still an auto-buy for me, but I have to say that this is the first book that I've read by this author that was actually a bit disappointing for me. I think fans will buy the book regardless, but I sincerely doubt that it will rank high on anyone's list of the best Chase stories. I wish the author had not written the book at all and just focused on other stories rather than bowing to fan pressure and forcing a story that obviously wasn't of interest to the writer. I give full marks for effort, but must say with great sadness that the effort fell flat.
Dreaming of Dragons can be found here.
Two guys showed up to do their version of a samba. Really, it wasn't that good, and they fell flat on their asses in the end. However, it's Nigel's comments that have teh gheys up in arms and demanding an apology. Nigel...and really, all of the judges, watch Sonya's eyes get HUGE (mohawk judge on left) when the guys walked on stage...was oddly uncomfortable with two guys dancing together, and told the boys that they would alienate most of the audience. Since it's one of those shows where the fans vote the dancers off, it matters. I have to find the rest of it, because the guy who was actually gay did make it on to the next round in Las Vegas, while the pretty, straight one was sent home.
Watch what Nigel says and see if you want to sign the petition going around demanding Fox make Nigel apologize to GLAAD (he later wrote on Twitter "The same sex ballroom guys did remind me of 'Blades of Glory.' However, I'm not a fan of 'Brokeback' Ballroom.”) Fast forward to 5:10 to get past the chick and watch the boys in action.
and FYI...this is two men dancing together and doing it RIGHT! definitely made me wanna drop my panties.
So I'm reading this blog post about a soap opera actor who walked off the set because he didn't want to kiss another guy. People are ranting and raving and calling the guy a homophobic azzhole for not going along with the kiss.
Really?
I started to reply, but it kind of got long, so I decided to put it all over here.
It seems like people are just a little too quick to take offense sometimes. The actor never made a single homophobic statement, just said that he wasn't comfortable with the script...and not just the kiss, but the whole direction that his character had been taking lately. I'm not a fan of soaps, and have never watched Young and the Restless, but I don't think that a guy voicing his concerns about what from all accounts is a poorly written character qualifies as a homophobic rant. And if the guy leaves because he doesn't feel like the differences will be resolved, more power to him. Didn't take the show long to find a replacement, and the actor is free to go pick scripts that he feels comfortable with.
What's the problem here? What am I missing? Why this outpouring of rage because one guy refused to kiss another? Actors walk out of contracts all the time when they're asked to do things they don't agree with. How many actresses have left a movie because they just would not do a nude sex scene? Why is that any different?
And to be fair, Grey's Anatomy thought it would be cute to add in a few lez characters to the show, and the actresses went along with it, only to be fired or re-scripted later when the network decided they wanted to get away from any GLBT storylines. So shutting up, taking your paycheck, and doing things you have a personal objection to doesn't always work out in the end either.
From what I can tell, the actor wasn't being asked to play a suddenly gay character, just pretend to seduce a gay guy to prevent the guy from finding out about some things he did. That sort of sucks worse, no? Suggesting that gay men only think with their dicks, and all you have to do to distract them from the truth is make out with them.
Anyone actually watch the show and have any opinions on this? The Advocate article referred to in the blog post is here.
As a side note: just because people agree with you doesn't make them (or you) particularly intelligent or tolerant. The Mormons all got together and agreed that Prop 8 was a Bad Thing. Somehow, I don't think people on the other side found them tolerant.
What we're talking about is a phenomenon which has largely been confined to the depths of slashy fanfic until recently, when it started popping up in published m/m stories: the dreaded vag-anus, boy pussy, self lubricating anal orifice. Whyyyyyyyyyy? Why does an m/m book have to practically turn into a het story by the end? Why can't the men in stories act like males? They don't all have to be muscle bound butchy types...I like pretty twinks and uke as much as the next fujoshi...but the man parts being turned into lady bits is a little disturbing to me.
I'll give you an example from Jet Mykles' Devon Cream:
Steven gripped the arm about his shoulders, entirely unable to keep his hips from rocking back into the steely hardness that taunted him. Did he just imagine that his hungry ass was weeping, aching for that cock to make a home inside him?
Really? A drippy anus? What's next, mpreg?
Authors: do you write your men with lady bits?
Readers: do you like feminine men? And not in the flashy, flamboyant way, but with the vag-anus and the breasts?
Blurb:Ken and Bay are rich young men who like to party, make love to each other, and party some more. They also happen to be twins. Estranged from their father since their mother died when they were little, they've learned to rely only on each other.
When their father hires a pair of bodyguards to watch their every move, they think it's just a bid on his part to keep them under his thumb and they do their best to run the bodyguards off. Then an all too real explosion rocks the mansion, and their bodyguards split them up, each running in a different direction to keep them safe.
Will Ken and Bay survive the threat that hangs over them? Will they survive being apart for the first time in their lives? And will their poor, beleaguered bodyguards learn to deal with the twins and with each other before the threat is over?
Bottom line up front:
TWINCEST!!! Ok, it's a fave of mine, but not for everybody. But...twins! om nom nom.
The rest:
Kendrick and Basil Templeton are the bored and jaded twin sons of a rich man who seems to have upset some Columbian drug lord. To protect his kids, Jonas sends two bodyguards to protect his sons, neither of which are happy to have people around cramping their style.
Ken and Bay immediately set out to run their latest guards off, just like they've done with all their other nannies, mannies, and bodyguards their father has sent along to their playhouse. They don't think they're in any danger, and are certain their father is just sending along spies to report on their doings. Unfortunately, the antics got cut short when they actually DID get attacked and their house went splodey, leaving them split up and running for their lives.
Simon takes Ken on one route, and Rick takes Bay, with plans to meet up when it's safe. Bored and missing his twin, both boys start smexing with his respective guard until they can be together again. This works out until they find out that their guards were former lovers who split up over an old argument, then they start working on trying to get the two to reconcile. All the while, they're on the run from peple who are trying to kill them dead.
Ken was the more outgoing twin, stridently voicing his wants to anyone who cared to listen and at least one person who didn't. Despite this, he was singularly effective at convincing even his taciturn guard to do some very naughty things. I frequently got impatient with Ken's selfishness and utter disregard for anyone else's wants or needs. Poor, passive Bay got dragged into many things he really wasn't interested in doing just to appease his jackass brother. I get that Ken was partially just trying to get attention from a father who didn't seem to care one way or the other about them, security guards notwithstanding. Still, he annoyed me muchly at times.
Bay got up and grabbed Ken's arm, dragging his twin a few feet away and speaking quietly. "I don't want to play, Ken."I really wanted Bay to stand up for himself more often, but he actually did make his needs known in a more gentler fashion. As much as Ken got what he wanted, Bay really did have Ken under control.
"Don't be a baby; we have to be strong if we're going to beat the old man on this one." "Kenny, he's bringing in 'the full team', if we're good it'll just be the two of them."
"Fuck, Bay, don't go soft on me."
"I just don't want to be watched all the time, is that too much to ask for?"
"And is it too much for me to ask for your support once in awhile?"
He shook his head. "You have my support!"
"Yeah, well sometimes it feels like it only ever goes the other way, you're so fucking needy sometimes, Basil." Ken sneered at him and pulled away. "I'm going shopping. On my own."
Bay tried not to let the hurt show and he slowly and carefully went and picked up his towel, feeling vulnerable and very naked suddenly.
Bay was an epileptic, and in the mad flight from their home, his medications got forgotten. Of course, he has a seizure at the worse possible time, leaving his guard fighting for Bay's life on two fronts, and Ken worried and demanding to be reunited with his twin.
The relationship dynamics here got confused, because there were different things going on at different times. Ken and Bay were lovers, but Rick and Simon got drawn into it as well, first separately with whichever twin they had while on the run, then all together in a foursome when they regrouped at a safe house. In addition, Rick and Simon were sort of forced to work out their own differences while living in close quarters, and attempted to reconcile while still boinking two twins who went at it like rabbits with each other and anyone else close enough to be sucked in to their fun.
For most of the story, the danger they were supposed to be in took a back seat to the smexing. Once again, this is another Mike Shade book that is very reminiscent of Sean Michael pornolicious fanfic. Being that this is TQ, we could speculate as to whose pseud this is, but really, why bother? Overall, I didn't hate the book. It's definitely worth reading on a week when you have absolutely nothing else to do.
These two darlings are courtesy of PL Nunn, who does cartoon Nuada so nicely, don't you think? There are two more pics, but not sharing. Love you peepo, but not THAT much :P
And this sweetie pie is a pencil sketch of a Four Seasons set the fantabulous
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annecain is workin on for me.Four very delectable mens all nekkid and stuffs for me.This is Spring, and he'll be five kinds of delicious when he's all painted up:
So yeah. Another year older. Meh. Thanks to everyone for the wonderful b-day wishes and the gifts (real and virtual) and emails and cards and all that stuffs. I has the bestest friends ever. Luv you all muchly. MUAH!
But hey, is my twin sister 's b-day too, so....
Happy Birthday emlynley !!!!
If you hasn't time to read, I'll give you a few highlights:
Most people believe that the The "Uke" (the ones who take it up the ass) in a yaoi are just fetal dickgirls. This can be confirmed by the fact that they are all feminine whiny little cunt bitches that are just asking for it.
Uh....yeah. About that...
The average yaoi fantard is an insecure perv female who acts like a 16 year old girl, but is often much older. She often has an obsessive love of one or more fictional male characters, but accepts on some level that that she would never, EVER have a chance with such characters even if they were real as she is a creepy fatty.
*trout stare*
Once a year, in the Bay Area of California - hereafter referred to as Fagmecca - all of the perverted fangirls and fanboys gather to get their con on at Yaoi-Con. The most frightening thing about it is that everyone around you is a closet pedo.
Really? I mean...really?
What. A. Fucktard.
Blurb:When Jordan Jensen moves to St. Nacho’s he has one goal in mind: starting over. He wants to reconnect with best friends Cooper and Shawn yet is uncertain of his welcome. He has the skills to get a job, but isn’t sure any prospective employer can get past the time he spent in jail for alcohol-related vehicular homicide. He’s past the worst part of his life but knows it will haunt him forever. So Jordan plans a life of quiet service. One thing he knows for sure: finding love is entirely too much to ask.
On the first day of his new job, Jordan meets Ken Ashton. Ken has every reason to hate Jordan for his past and only one to seek him out: Ken's baseball career was shattered in a drunk-driving accident. But for some reason he can’t explain, Ken needs Jordan’s touch and finds healing within Jordan’s warmth and strength. Jordan wants to give Ken everything his new partner needs.
Without entirely understanding it, Ken and Jordan develop a powerful emotional and erotic connection, but Ken must help Jordan find the faith to trust it. Unexpected help comes from the people of Santo Ignacio--and the town itself--a place where Physical Therapy can be a path toward spiritual healing and powerful, passionate love.
Bottom line up front:
Wow, the second emo book in a row I've read that I actually mostly liked. I'm slipping into my dotage?
The rest:
We first met Jordan in the fantabulous story St. Nacho's. Jordan used to date Cooper, but they had some troubles when Jordan was drinking at a party one evening. He and Cooper got in a fight and Jordan decided to leave, although he knew he'd had too much to drink. Typical teenager "if I can still walk, I must not be drunk" syndrome. Unfortunately, little Bobby was riding his bike behind the truck Jordan was driving, and Jordan hit and killed the kid.
After doing time for manslaughter, Jordan continued to have troubles, some due to the horrific accident, many dealing with his drunk, abusive father. Jordan got involved in drugs and had multiple stints in rehab. Trying to get clean, he became involved with a cult-like pseudo religion guy, but thankfully got free of that whack job.
Cleansed, renewed, and ready to move forward with life, he goes to the same place Cooper found his redemption on the off chance that it works for everyone the same way. He finds a job at the local gym as a combination personal trainer/massage therapist/cleaning boy. Who should be his first massage client but a guy who was seriously injured in a drunk driving accident. Ken was in a car with his best friend when they were hit by a drunk driver. His friend was killed, and he was left with crippling injuries and a long road of therapy and strength training ahead of him just for the chance to be able to walk with a limp.
Sparks flew between the two right away, but all that came to a screeching halt when the conscientious Jordan confessed his felonious past. Jordan has his work cut out for him proving that he's a changed man, and once he gets past that, there's the whole being in a relationship thing to deal with. Ken's family isn't exactly pleased that he's dating a man at all, never mind one with Jordan's past.
Although Jordan had his emo, mopey moments that I dislike so in any character, he spent a great deal of time digging himself out of holes and trying to make a better life for himself. Because of that, I connected with him as a character and felt like I had a vested interest in his future. Jordan makes no excuses for the things he's done; he recognizes his mistakes as the tragedies they are and then focuses on overcoming his past to be a better person in the future.
Ken wasn't exactly the seduced, innocent party here, either. He goes after Jordan with a single minded intensity, but waits until he gets what he wants to realize that it's not all it's cracked up to be. His whole identity prior to the accident was wrapped up in finishing college and going on to play professional baseball. The majority of that was family expectation rather than his own desires, although the guy genuinely enjoyed the sport. Still, faced with the realization that Plan A just wasn't going to happen, he turned his attention to functioning as independently as possible.
I enjoyed reading a story about two characters who were so much stronger as a whole than the sum of their parts. Neither were perfect; both made multiple mistakes, but continued to trek on and try to do the right thing. I liked that none of the struggles were idealized. The characters here were heroic but not superheroes. The overall impression is of a solid, believable, relatable story of two guys who capture the hearts of readers. Physical Therapy is full of win on many fronts, and had me cheering for Jordan, Ken, Jordan's mom, and the rest of the town. Definitely a recommended read for fans who loved St. Nacho's as much as I did.
BUT...finished Physical Therapy by ZA Maxfield, Security by Mike Shade, and Fortunate Son by Fae Sutherland, so will have those reviews for errybody this week.
I hope. If
annecain doesn't pop more pretties in my mailbox and break my brain again. Remind me to show y'all what she's been doing for my library. I've been keeping dearest Anne incredibly busy, working her fingers to the bone to paint me MOAR PRETTIES! Ohohoh and PL Nunn is working on a few things for me as well. She nearly broke my brain too. Such a naughty girl, our Pam, with her deliciously wicked cartoons!!! *drools*
In the meantime, go amuse yourself at the Three Crow zine, which has a very interesting article by Josh Lanyon...and my review of his LOVERS AND OTHER STRANGERS. Did I mention how much I love that title? No? Well, I do *nods*.
When there are typos and technical mistakes with a story...confusing time or POV shifts, character's names or even eye colors get switched around mid-point, etc...who should take the lumps: the author or the editor?
I've posted reviews and gotten near hysterical responses from authors on both sides of the issues. Personally, I tend to blame the editor for the mistakes. Yes, the author wrote the book, but then it goes to an editor and those mistakes should have been fixed at that point. If the editor fails to...well, edit, then I think they should be chastised in any review for failing to do the thing they're sort of getting paid to do.
Some authors have rather emphatically stated that all errors are their own fault. Others wince at the mistakes, but say that there are multiple people looking at the MS and none of them caught it, so the publisher isn't doing their job, thus absolving the author of any responsibility.
What say you all?
Who is ultimately responsible for mistakes in published works?
Blurb:Recovering from a near fatal accident, artist Finn Barret returns to Seal Island in Maine to rest and recuperate. But Seal Island is haunted with memories, some sweet, some sad; three years ago Finn found his lover in the arms of Fitch, Finn's twin brother. Since that day, Finn has seen neither Conlan nor Fitch. In fact, no one has seen Fitch. What happened to him? Did Fitch run away, as everyone believes? Or did he meet a more sinister fate? To put the past to rest - and see if there's any chance of a future with Con - Finn must discover the truth. But the deeper he digs, the more reason he has to fear Con is the only one who knows what truly happened to Fitch...
Bottom line up front:
....speechless here. There was this vibrant splash of color and a hauntingly beautiful storyline. I have to say that I think this is Lanyon's best work so far.
The rest:
Finn is a talented artist in a long line of renowned painters. He was raised on a very close-knit island in the middle of noplace, but rather abruptly leaves for Manhattan when he discovers his lover in the arms of his twin brother. Bastages. After a horrific accident that leaves him scarred and weakened, Finn returns to Seal Island for to recover, only to find out that his twin hadn't been heard from in the three years since Finn left.
As upset as Finn still is with his brother, he's concerned that neither their mutual friends in Manhattan nor family on Seal Island have seen Fitch since that terrible day when the little asshole banged his boyfriend. Finn was understandably still upset with Fitch, and was absolutely sure he could never forgive his twin, but he's a bit puzzled that nobody seems to care that Fitch has been missing for such a long period of time, or even bothered to look for the guy.
Fitch had a habit of leaving the island for months at a time, but never for so long before, and not without contacting any of his friends. To make things more interesting, who should pop up on the island again but Con, the ex-lover who thought sexing up a set of twins would be twice as nice.
With the help of Paul, Finn's good friend and one of Fitch's ex-playtoys, he does a little investigating. However, the response from the island's inhabitants is a bit perplexing. The general consensus is that Finn should just let sleeping dogs lie. Not even family was interested in finding out if Fitch was dead.
The more digging Finn and Paul did, the more Finn learned about his twin. Finn is shocked to learn after all this time that Fitch was pretty much despised by the townspeople, and that his twin was cruel to people when Finn wasn't around to see it. So we have a whole island of possible suspects, including Finn himself, who likely had the best reason to want Fitch dead.
I loved the way the story started out with vivid descriptions of color and light and ambiance. The writing here was lyrically lovely and very textured, almost touchable. Everything was lush and brilliantly picturesque. I was very much emotionally invested in the story, and with Finn, although I didn't always agree with his choices. That surprised me some, because there was a fair amount of angst here, and anyone who's read my reviews before knows I do NOT do emo stories. At all.
One bit that made no good sense to me was when Finn got to making out with Con. Ok, this is the guy who very likely last saw his twin alive, and that was because the bastage was boinking his brother behind his back. Con did apologize profusely, but readily admitted that part of that regret was because he got caught. Or, as Con put it, "I didn't mean for you to see that." Uh, yeah. So Con is a cheater, a liar, and quite possibly a murderer, yet here Finn is sucking face with the dude. Does not compute. There were also some typos where Finn and Fitch's names got switched around, causing mass confusion til I read a few times and got it straightened out.
I loved the mystery element here. I never saw the ending coming, which was a delightful surprise. Most Lanyon mysteries don't really require Scooby Doo and the gang to suss out the perpetrator in the first chapter. It hasn't really detracted from any of his stories thus far, but still...was nice to see that changed up a bit. There might be some smart cookies out there who figure it out fast, but I doubt it.
Overall, the gracefully alluring phrasing here completely sucked me in and turned Lovers and Other Strangers into a magical read that will be front and center on my keeper self. Can't wait for the print version of this. And I *really* like that title. Makes me giggle. MUST READ THIS BOOK!! It appears in Partners in Crime 4: The Art of Dying, as part of an antho with Jordan Castillo Price that will be released my MLR Press later this month.
Blurb:Set in the same world as 911, Cheek to Cheek follows firefighters Mallory and Will and the ups and downs of their relationship from their first anonymous meeting at a quiet gay bar to discovering that they're about to be working at the same fire station when Will is sent in to replace injured firefighter Drew, and beyond.
Their plans of a quiet, easy, no-pressure physical relationship will be put to the test as they work together, as ex-lovers and family put their two cents in as well. Can Mallory and Will find more than just the physical together?
Bottom line up front:
Cute, even though I didn't necessarily buy the whole ex-girlfriend relationship dynamic.
The rest:
I've had 911 on my keeper shelf for some time, so it was nice to revisit some old, muchly loved characters, as well as meet some new ones. There is some overlap in the stories here, in that Mallory was at the same fire that injured Drew, and the 911 trio popped up in the story a few times as friends of Mal.
Mallory is a firefighter working out of the same station that Drew was. he's just come to the realization that he actually isn't in love with his girlfriend of six years anymore, and the two extremely politely decided to part ways. No fighting, no recriminations, no 'zomg, you bastage we've been together for SIX YEARS and NOW you decide you're not in love??' Yeah, not very plausible, is it? Oh, and Mallory moves out of his own apartment, that he'd lived in before girlfriend showed up and moved in with him. Wouldn't he have been the one on the lease? Or are things that much different in Canada?
Anyways, after two weeks, Mal decides that it's time for a little quick relief and goes cruising at a neighborhood bar. He meets Will, a pretty dancer who knows all the right moves. The two get to smexing and it's just that good, so they agree to maybe meet up again in the future. No strings attached.
That plan gets a little sidetracked when Will shows up at the fire station as the newest member of the gang. Awwwwkward! After a little emo back and forth avoidance issues, the two manage to work together just fine. They even keep their NSA relationship going, continuing to reassure each other that it's just sex.
Things get awkward again when it comes time for the annual firefighter's fundraiser and talent show. Mallory has always danced with Trish, the ex-girlfriend. Not only that, but she's usually the one who sold tickets for him, since all his friends are firefighters as well. He decides to ask her to sell the tix again this year, and to dance with him again. Again, possible, but not very plausible. What girl would agree to sell tickets and come up with a dance routine for the dude who just took off after six years? And not only took off, but almost immediately hooked up with someone else? And not just someone else, but a *male* someone else? I mean...really? Not every relationship has to end nasty, but I'm not buying the 'we're still best friends so lets hang out and lemme meet your new boyfriend' thing.
Mal and Will's relationship steadily becomes deeper, all while Mal continues to refuse to acknowledge how close they really are. He's not out at the fire station, although Will is and gets along just fine. Pretending to be friends and work and falling on each other like rabid dogs in their off time takes a toll, and Mal has to put up or walk away.
The writing here is vintage Owen. I've always been a fan of her work, and she's got several books on my keeper shelf. This won't be one of them, but I still liked the read. The other thing I like here is that Cheek to Cheek is a bi-racial romance without really coming off strongly as one. Will is black, but it's not really harped on. These characters are just two interesting guys who share a career and a life. There was one scene where Will's brother took issue with Will dating a white guy, but race wasn't otherwise addressed in the story. I'm glad Owen didn't make Will ghetto with a chip on his shoulder or something.
Cheek to Cheek is definitely worth the read, if only to get another peek at the 911 boys and peruse the lovely dancing scenes. Still, I think most fans of Owen's will enjoy spending time with Mallory and Will. Too bad she couldn't keep the chick's paws out of Mal's life a little more.
This book is scheduled to be a June release from Torquere Press.
Blurb:Professor Seth Anderson has finally found sanctuary in Brier, Iowa. Even better, he's found Raphael "Rafe" Dirisio, a strong, giant of a man who owns the town pool hall, and Seth has never felt so comfortable, safe, or close to anyone. When Seth is asked to give a series of lectures in Washington, DC, it seems only natural that Rafe come along. But in a few surreal days, Seth's true nature is exposed and he brings both their lives crashing down around them.
Because Seth is not only a werewolf, he's also something much, much worse... (yeah. like a fucktard)
Bottom line up front:
Seth got on my last. Frickin. Nerve.
The rest:
Seth reminded me muchly of Eeyore. The kid (and I say kid, although he was 32 because he sure acted like a kid) was in serious need of a happy place. Absolutely nothing positive Rafe said to him ever really connected. However, let Rafe say anything that could be remotely construed in a negative fashion, and Seth was all over the believing it was true. Ever wanna grab Eeyore by the tail and swing him til he bashed his head against a tree if he sighed just one more time? Well, I did. And Seth took me back to that place I haven't been to since I was at least five.
Seth was a Ravager. Now that sounds all fun and spanky, but apparently it was the werewolf equivalent to a berserker. Most of that sort got killed at birth, because they were so much stronger in shifted form than their counterparts. Seth didn't get killed. He ended up in the human foster care system til he got old enough to fend for himself.
Somehow, he met Rafael. Rafe's backstory was a bit vague, but the book seems to suggest that they met at a pool hall that Rafe owns. Anyways, the two had been together for three months and things are going about as well as can be expected at that point. Then Seth, a world renowned mathematician, takes a speaking engagement in DC. Ready for a vacation from Iowa (cuz who wouldn't be?), Rafe tags along. The two head out for some fun at a neighborhood pool hall there, but it turns out that the hall is for supernatural types.
Rafe may be an alpha type human, but he knows nothing about the existence of magical beings. He steps out to get some cigarettes, and Seth is attacked by a pack of wolves who mistake his small stature for weakness. He kicked butt there, but word of his presence spread and he's attacked again by another pack.
Rafe finally finds out about Seth's hidden side and is understandably freaked out. However, the guy goes out of his way to reassure Seth and try to make their relationship work out. Seth goes out of his way to be an annoying, whiny little bitch.
He's absolutely convinced that he's a monster and a bad person, although he's never actually been the aggressor in any of his beatdowns. Somehow that seems to have escaped him. He absolutely refuses to believe that Rafe could possibly love him, despite being told multiple times, but sort of sticks around because Rafe is the only one who's ever really nice to him. So he'd rather be a kicked dog than a loved partner, because that's all he really understands.
Other than the incessant whimpering and sobbing, the thing that really chapped my hide about Seth is that his speech changed noticably from educated genius to 1st grade mentally incapacitated kid when he shifted. Really, there has GOT to be a way for authors to convey a more primitive frame of mind when in shifted form without turning the poor guys into ESL dropouts.
Given the interminable whining regardless of endless attempts to alleviate unfounded fears, the HEA here appeared to be hastily tacked on. It was hard to believe the abrupt turn around from woe is me to skipping off manically happy into the rainbow sunset.
I very much liked the premise of the story here. My issues from Lone came because I disliked one of the characters, and so could not enjoy the rest of a tale that would have otherwise fascinated. I think I'd enjoy reading another story from this author...preferably minus the borderline suicidal character. My favorite character here was actually the vampire Dorian and not one of the main characters at all. However, anyone who doesn't mind pretty, emo boys would like this book.
Blurb:Dane Connelly is a gay janitor and boxer with a soft heart and a simple outlook--he wants to meet the right man, someone who will look past his macho sport and put him in the place of a submissive. He wants to fall in love and belong to his partner.
On the surface, Noel Atherton, an intellectual, shy, and sexually repressed university graduate student with a crippled leg, could not be the dominant lover that Dane longs for. But after their first meeting, when Dane disables the fire alarm in the library and lights a cigarette, Noel is drawn from his shell. Soon, Noel needs to touch Dane, exploring his sexuality for the first time. And both learn that looks can be deceiving.
However, Noel's controlling father is appalled by the relationship and quietly arranges to get Dane out of the way and punish him for daring to love a man so far above his station.
Bottom line up front:
The Janitor was so awesomely bad that it's almost a must read for those who enjoy train wrecks. I have a feeling this book might be like the movie Big Trouble in Little China: so crazy tacky it almost becomes a cult classic.
The rest:
Dane is a janitor in serious need of a big hug. He's sort of floated through life with everyone from teachers to family and friends telling him that he's too stupid to do anything or have any sort of real comprehension. The only thing he does moderately well is fight, which he's sort of settled on because he really does think that he's too stupid to do anything else.
He meets quiet, shy Noel in the library one day. Noel is Dane's polar opposite: small where Dane is huge, multiple doctorate degrees where Dane practically dropped out of elementary school, rich son of a doctor to Dane's penniless janitor. Dane isn't the type to conceal anything at all, and his conversations to various strangers throughout the book were fairly cringe inducing. There was just no stopping the guy from sharing rather intimate details of his life with all and sundry. One of his initial conversations in the library with Noel raised the first eyebrow:
“I‟m gay, just in case you didn‟t figure it. Yeah. I‟m bein‟ straight with you about it, in case you missed I was hittin‟ on you. Some fellas, they like to, you know, ambush their dates. Play it like a buddy, but I don‟t go that way. I‟m straight up. Well, not straight, but you know, I wouldn‟t lie to you none. I really, really think you‟re a sensational person, so I was thinking hot dogs.”Not sure I followed that convo correctly because Dane is such a tangential thinker, but I'm fairly sure he said that thinking of oral sex while eating hot dogs is a gay indicator. Huh. But apparently Noel wasn't entirely sold on that theory, so he and Dane continued to be friends while not-so-subtly flirting.
“Hot dogs are oddly phallic. Except people eat them.”
Dane blinked, licking his teeth. “Oh, like eating a hot dog makes you think of oral sex? So maybe you are gay, right? And maybe you just don‟t know it.”
In the meantime, Dane has needs that must be met, so he goes to his favorite cruising spot to pick up a new playtoy of the hour. Dane rather optimistically refers to his five minute encounters as 'dates'. Because of his size and boxing profession, the men tended to think Dane was a rough top, which couldn't have been farther from the truth. Dane picks up a guy with a tattoo of Bambi (the deer, not the hooker) on his head, thinking the guy must be nice if he has a Bambi tat, right? Their interaction was smack dab between hilarious and pathetic. Could go either way, really:
“You‟re a big boy, aren‟t you? You like it rough, baby? ‟Cause that‟s how I want it to go.” Dane‟s date ran a hand over his thigh and up to his crotch.
Dane closed his eyes. “I don‟t like to do rough. I like it slow. Can we dance a little? Maybe you can tell me what your favorite color is or somethin‟, before we hit the alley or, uh, the men‟s?”
“Favorite color?” The bald man laughed, his gold earrings shaking. He had a tattoo on his head of Bambi, which was what had attracted Dane. “I just want to fuck.
“I like your tattoo, by the way. It‟s very nice. Bambi ain‟t so easy to draw, you know.”
“Whatever. Had a boyfriend who was an art freak.”
“Yeah? I‟m not a freak, but I like to draw some. But I guess it didn‟t work out for you. That‟s sad. Relationships are sad, you know? But I think it‟s worth tryin‟, even if—”
“Look, are we gonna fuck or what? I don‟t got time to chat with you. I picked you ‟cause of your looks, not your mouth. You got a nice dick, and I want to feel it, so let‟s get it on before I get any older, okay?”
His throat clogged with feeling, Dane followed his date out to the alley. But he had one thing to say. “I wouldn‟t hurt you none.”
“Whatever. Don‟t talk so much while we do it. Puts me in a bad mood. If I wanted to fuck some chatty woman, I wouldn't be gay, all right, pal?”
Holy stereotype, Batman! Please to excuse me while I bang my head against the desk, repeatedly, before reading on.
Noel discovers that Dane will allow him to do anything to the hapless janitor and quickly changes their library time into sexual exploration on the tables. After the accident that left him injured, Noel was educated at home by a guilty father who kept a very tight leash on the poor guy. Consequently, Noel was highly educated in academics, but had never so much as been kissed before. I'll spare you the trauma of most of their sexual encounters; suffice it to say that they involved taking sweaty work books off a guy who didn't wear socks and cocks that popped like jack-in-the-boxes and trembled like creatures. Still, there was one element of their smexing that amused muchly.
After feeling that rush of power he got while dominating Dane sexually, Noel decided that he liked to talk a little dirty. But the image of a frail scholar with a crippled leg whispering sweet nothings to the hulking janitor was more comedy than romance, particularly when it came to Noel's insistence on calling himself "Daddy".
“Are you my dirty boy?” Noel teased, escaping into their naughty play. “Can‟t wait for Daddy to suck it, can you?”Oh, please! Are you kidding me?
Dane‟s cheeks were hollow, his eyes heavy, his cheeks flagged with bright color. He read so easily Noel‟s need to give. To play. “Please, Daddy…please let me come!”
“Want to come in Daddy‟s mouth?” Noel licked Dane, teasing him before blowing on the wetness.
Noel sucked and Dane trembled, his balls hard as Noel caressed them. Noel felt them draw tighter and then Dane was thrusting up into Noel‟s mouth, sobbing—
“Please, Daddy!”
Unfortunately for the...happy couple, Noel's controlling father was very much against the idea that his son could possibly be gay, and plotted to break up the dynamic duo. His antics ranged from pulling strings at the university to get Dane fired from his job to arranging to have Dane and his mentor severely beaten. Really, Noel's father was a piece of work with his own revelations in the closet waiting to come out.
The dialogue here is absolutely horrific, and the story itself had so many sporkable moments that I was posting one-liners all day on Twitter. Sorry to the Twitter crowd who had to read them all. I'll save the people who only read the blog reviews from the major bits of trauma and suffice it to say that there are better things to spend your money on than The Janitor. Like more sporks. I'm fresh out after wasting a day of my life reading this book.
Blurb:Seduction is his only chance for freedom…and love is a death sentence.
Even among shifters, Ethan is a rare breed. So rare, he’s spent the last eight years in hiding from the werewolves who once captured and tortured him. Now a tranq dart has cut short his feral existence. Waking in human form in a locked room is more than a living nightmare…it’s reliving his worst one.
Yet in the troubled eyes of one of his captors, he senses a weak link. One he can use to escape—by seducing his jailer.
Bram’s life as pack omega isn’t easy. As long as he obeys his alpha he is protected. However, there are some things he just can’t bring himself to do. Keeping a precious cougar shifter prisoner is one of them, especially one who has somehow managed to capture his heart.
Setting Ethan free could be a death sentence for both of them, for Bram’s pack doesn’t take betrayal lightly. And the alpha is set on revenge.
Bottom line up front:
The beginning third of the book was borderline sporkable, but thankfully it gets better if you push on through and is not half bad by the end.
The rest:
Ethan has been on the run in cougar form for eight years after having been captured and tortured by a pack of wolves. Unfortunately, the pack dynamics have changed and there's a new alpha wolf in charge who wants the cat back. Ethan is recaptured and taken back to the wolf compound to be somewhat tamed, then would be turned over to some sort of paramilitary group for experimentation of some sort. He's basically been alone most of his life, since his human mother passed away when he was only nine. After that, he was raised by his mom's best friend, a wolf shifter who was killed by the Winter pack in front of Ethan.
Bram, the Omega of the Winter werewolf pack, has been assigned to comfort Ethan and keep him from shifting back into a cougar. It was his interactions with yet another mildly sadistic Alpha that had my fingers inching towards the spork.
Abruptly Doug grabbed Bram and bent him double, pushing his head between his knees. Bram tried not to resent this undignified hold, but it was hard. To make matters even more confusing, Bram needed physical contact more than he got it, typical werewolf that he was, so a part of him welcomed Doug’s actions, no matter how domineering.
Bram sort of accepted how Doug treated him, because at least it was only one guy he was forced to deal with. Under the last, infinitely more sadistic alpha, Bram had been raped repeatedly by the rest of the pack. Once Doug took over, Bram just had one asshole to deal with. Still, that knowledge didn't make their charming scenes any more palatable.
“Kneel,” ordered Doug. “You need this.”
Bram breathed quickly, confused thoughts tumbling through his brain. Before today Doug had always kept their transactions away from the office.
“I don’t mind if you take yourself in hand this time. I know you’re under stress.” Doug’s other palm came to rest on Bram’s shoulder, and he applied pressure, forcing Bram down to his knees...
Bram stroked himself while Doug withdrew and entered again. As always Bram’s gag reflex went to work, but they both ignored it because Doug was a large man...
He stroked himself harder. If he didn’t come before Doug did, he might not be allowed to.
Suffice it to say, Bram was one messed up puppy, which didn't make his relationship with the cougar any easier when it came to the smexing. Of course, there wasn't much smexing to be had in this book anyways. It was mostly snuggling and purring in between running for their lives once Bram helped Ethan escape from the compound.
One of the interesting takes on the shifter theme here is that they have so much difficulty going back and forth between human and animal. Most books make it effortless and natural, but these guys really labored and were exhausted after. The book states that it usually takes over fifteen minutes to shift, and there was the side effect of temporary amnesia until memories caught up with the shifter.
There were a few other parts in the story that didn't pass the plausibility test. The paramilitary types were able to track Ethan over three months later via some sort of tracking device that had been put in Ethan's drink. A)I have a hard time believing that an awake and alert Ethan wouldn't notice anything in his drink, or that Bram, who gave Ethan the drinks, didn't notice there was anything in it. B) Whatever Ethan swallowed could not possibly have still have been swimming about in his stomach even days later, never mind months, as the book suggests. Then Trey waves a wand at Ethan's stomach, magically deactivating the transponder and enabling it to pass through the digestive tract.
“How the hell did they find him? Was it through me?”
Trey’s gaze was measured. “There are very clever tracking devices these days. It seems Doug gave Ethan one in a drink and it’s been swimming around in his stomach ever since. He just had to alert these people at a time of his choosing.”
Trey climbed into the driver’s seat, took some kind of instrument from Kingley and pointed it at Ethan’s chest for about ten seconds. After which he checked something on it. “Dead,” he said with a glance at Kingley.
“That ‘thing’ was a transmitter. I gave Ethan’s stomach a burst of radio-wave frequency to kill dead the RFID so it’d stop swimming around in his acidic stomach and pass on through him. Is that helpful?”
There's not enough acid even in an empty stomach for anything to "swim" in, and even if there were, the stomach is continually moving and emptying its contents into the small bowel. It's just not physically possible for something to remain in the stomach for over three months. So while I'm willing to suspend belief enough to enjoy wolf and cougar shifters, I have issues with suspending it enough to allow for technology that bypasses basic anatomy and physiology.
The other thing that made no sense is that Ethan found out later that his mother died of a diabetic coma, and that she'd had diabetes for some time and hid it form him.
Trey had let him know that the records showed his mother had gone into a diabetic coma before she died. She had hidden her sickness from the child he’d been.
Ok, but diabetes is very easily treatable and manageable. It's not like she had an imminently terminal illness that she would have needed to hide. There would have been absolutely no reason besides noncompliance with her diabetic regimen for her to have gone onto a diabetic coma in the first place, never mind to have died. The description in the book shows the author's poor understanding of the disease process. Nurse Kitteh gets highly annoyed when writers don't bother to do basic research and fug medicine up in books.
There was just too much of the weirdness here for me to really get into the story and enjoy it, but I didn't hate it either. I might get bored enough to read another book by this author. I can't remember any other books of her's I've read before, so this may just not be the best sample of her work. However, it's all I have, so I gotta say that I'm not terribly impressed. Feral wasn't sporkable, but I won't be sad if the file gets lost and forgotten in the black hole of my puter files.
Blurb: Complementing each other on the dance floor isn’t enough to form a relationship. Is it?
It’s 1953, and Hollywood is booming with extravagant musicals. Coming off a string of hits with MGM, Paul Dunham couldn’t be hotter. Hoping to capitalize on Paul’s popularity, the studio announces its attention to pair him with the latest actor to make a splash, Jack Wells. It seems like a match made in heaven, except for the fact that Paul can’t stand Jack. He hates the way Jack acts, and he hates Jack’s blue eyes, and he especially hates the fact that Jack is one of the most talented dancers he has ever met.
Jack, however, doesn’t hate Paul. In fact, everything Paul does fascinates him. After their first meeting, Jack is determined to win Paul over, and he won’t back down until Paul admits that the two of them are perfect partners...in every way...
Bottom line up front:
*Loved* this book. Loved it. I'm a movie nerd, and this book reminded me of all the times I've sat in front of the tv watching those old musicals on American Movie Classics channel. And wow, wouldn't it have been cool to see Gene Kelly and Bing Crosby hook up? Yum!
The rest:
Paul is singer, actor, and dancer extraordinaire at MGM Studios, way back when MGM was putting out all those super cool musicals. He enjoys being the star of the shows and lives the Hollywood life to the hilt: fancy house with private dance studio, dates with the leading ladies, all that fun stuff. He's gay ( or bi but leaning gay), but has buried that part of his lifestyle deep in favor of having a career on the silver screen. It just wouldn't do for the women who are drooling over the movie star to realize they really *don't* have a chance at snagging him.
Paul's relationship with his best friend Martin was rather interesting here. Martin is married, but seems to think nothing of Paul bursting into his house unannounced, getting drunk, and getting sucked off by his wife right in front of him. The story made vague references to past times where the three shared a bed, and that it wasn't unusual for Martin's wife to have sex with his friends. Yo, ho, whoa, ho, a swinger's life for them? Martin himself was cast as the voyeur in all this. In this fantasy story, there are men who actually *like* it when their wives have sex with their hot movie star friends. Kitteh approves that bit of plot muchly.
Things get shaken up in Paul's happy little world when he finds out that his next big picture is going to co-star none other than Jack Wells, whom Paul considers to be a no talent hack. Despite his arguing and fussing, he's not able to convince the director to get another actor. And to make the party a little more fun, the leading lady is one of his ex girlfriends. Movie star life is hard!
Jack has idolized Paul for some time and jumps at the chance to co-star in a movie with him. Unfortunately, the two clash from the start. Paul is attracted to Jack, and finally gives in to the cheeky Brit. The two start a relationship, but Paul is incredibly careful to not get caught while Jack couldn't care less. Working at cross purposes causes friction in more places than the bedroom, and it becomes a situation where one or both are about to lose their career.
Jack amused as a character, although his cheeky, irresponsible nature did grate at times. Still, although he had more enthusiasm than brains, one couldn't help but like the guy in the end.
I think the Jamie Craig duo did a lovely job of capturing the ambiance of 50's Hollywood, and the interactions between the two main characters was very reminiscent of the Bob and Bing ON THE ROAD musicals with Dorothy L'amour. If I had more time, I'd go back and watch a few of those (The Road to Morocco is a fave), and think about how different the movie would have been if Bing Crosby were Bob Hope's love interest instead of Dorothy.
Sticks and Stones is not only a must read, it's one for the Keeper Shelf.
Blurb:Lord Vincent Prescot’s life couldn’t be better. Thriving investments, well-respected by his peers, and mind blowing sex with a man who submits to his every desire -- what more could he want?
Lord Oliver Marsden should be more than happy with his life. He’s been in love with Vincent for over a decade and six months ago the impossible happened and they became lovers. But since then, nothing has changed. More specifically, Vincent hasn’t changed. Oliver has tried to be patient -- it took a lot for Vincent to accept the fact he preferred men. But what felt like a tiny distance between them six months ago now feels like an ever-widening chasm. Why can’t Vincent stay the night? Is it too much to ask for Vincent to call him Oliver and not Marsden? He knows Vincent cares for him, but does Vincent love him?
Then Vincent’s father asks him for a favor -- one that involves marriage. If Vincent agrees, he’ll have the respect he’s craved from his father his entire life but he could lose Oliver. Nor does Oliver make the decision easy. To keep Oliver, he’ll have to do more than deny his father. He’ll have to give Oliver his heart.
Bottom line up front:
Overwrought, over dramatic caricatures rather than actual...people. Everybody was either ZOMG!Evil or puritanically good here.
The rest:
I didn't read any other books prior to this one, but the author's note would suggest these characters came up in another story and got their own story here. I'm not sure how much of the backstory was gone into there, but we get maybe six month's worth here, with vague references to being long term friends with no mention of how Vincent and Oliver actually met.
Vincent is the younger son of a rich, titled family who couldn't care less about him. Consequently, he sort of goes out of his way to try to get some sort of recognition or approbation from his father. He manages the family properties and turns them into money-making enterprises, even though his brother, as the heir, is the one who will be the one benefiting from Vincent's hard work. Vincent's problem here is that he's gay, and has recently hooked up with his best friend. Obviously, that would be unacceptable to his family, and possibly deadly to the two lovers. Sodomy was still a hangin crime then.
Despite his feelings of intense lust for Oliver, Vincent is very much the product of his upbringing and can't bring himself to articulate his feelings to the much more sensitive Oliver. He rolls out of bed after their trysts before the sheets are even cool and runs out. No cuddling or "wow, that was great!", or even a smack on the ass. Just gets dressed and heads on home. Charming.
His eyes drifted closed again. He heard Vincent moving about. With each creak of the floorboards, tension seeped into him, dousing that perfectly blissful feeling of complete contentment.
Keeping his eyes closed wouldn’t change the inevitable. He forced his eyelids to open.
The black suspenders attached to the waistband of Vincent’s trousers stretched across his white-shirted back as he leaned down to grab his waistcoat from the floor near the foot of the bed.
Oliver’s stomach tightened. “Where are you going?” Stupid question to ask. Of course he wouldn’t stay the night. He never did.
“Home,” Vincent replied matter-of-factly, slipping on the cream silk waistcoat.
In view of that, Oliver comes of as being on this side of pathetic. He's been madly in love with his best friend for years. He found out somehow that Vincent had been renting boys at the local bordello and arranged to be Vincent's..date...for the night. The two have been going at it ever since, but Oliver is continually frustrated at Vincent's lack of an outward show of affection outside of bed, and his refusal to stay at Oliver's house for any longer than it takes to do the dirty.
Thankfully, Oliver gets a little tired of being Vincent's piece of ass and finally boots Vincent out, although his timing left a little to be desired. A duke decided that he wanted to marry his daughter to Vincent's older brother, but the guy already had an understanding with another lady. Vincent is called to his father's office and basically ordered to court the girl to get her out of the way so his brother would be free to make a better marriage. He's not happy with it, but he thinks maybe he'll get some gratitude or something from his father, so goes along with it. What an idiot.
Oliver is devastated, but he had already broken off ties, so no word on why Vincent's marriage would have mattered. Realistically speaking, it would have been likely that Vincent would have to marry eventually anyways. Not much of a way around it, unless his brother married young and had a whole slew of kids. However, true love can never be denied, and the two try to work out a way to be together in the way of most historicals, which would usually involve sending the poor wife off to some country cottage to be forgotten in perpetuity, while the two lovers boink happily in the town house.
I'm a fan of historicals, but nothing here really reached out to grab me. I may have liked the story more if I read the proceeding; I don't know. I suspect fans of March would like this story, particularly if they became enamored of Vincent and Oliver from a previous book and begged for their own story, as most fans will. Bound to Him was an average read with some light BDSM that seemed to be less about mutual pleasure and more about Vincent needing to be able to control something in his life.
Blurb: All Seth really wanted was a simple massage—was that too much to ask? When his usual therapist is replaced by a sexy young masseur, Seth finds himself obsessed with the unpredictable - and wholly inappropriate - David Cooke. Pushed to the breaking point by forces both mysterious and not so mysterious, Seth must lose his rigid control to find the happy ending both he and David deserve.
Bottom line up front:
Not nearly as funny as Gobsmacked, with a very rushed ending. I still don't know what Boy Butter is, and I *really* don't wanna. If you know, don't share. Seriously.
The rest:
Seth is an uptight businessman who has just had a really shitty year or so: his twin sister died of cancer, leaving him as the guardian of her six-year-old daughter, and his boyfriend left when the sick sister and her kid moved in so Seth could help her out. On top of that, Selfish Ex-boyfriend insisted that Seth buy him out of his share of the house, basically cleaning the poor guy out so he could move on to greener pastures with no kids or sick family. Bastage.
With the help of one of his sister's best friends, Seth is coping. Suddenly being thrust into the role of parent to a young child who is grieving for her deceased mother while trying to deal with his own grieving process is never an easy thing. To help him release a little tension, Seth goes to weekly salon appointments for a massage. One lucky day (depending on the POV of the character), his regular masseuse has an emergency and some guy he's never met before fills in. Apparently David is pretty darn good, because Seth starts thinking about Boy Butter and squirts all over the massage table, promptly pissing David off.
Seth takes young Molly out to dinner because he just has no idea how to cook and surprise! their waiter is Massage Guy. David is not happy to see Seth again and slops Seth's food on the table, spilling wine and everything. David has a bit of an explosive temper that blows up on people throughout the story. He regularly assaults people, then insists that it's not something he usually does, although it didn't stop him from doing it more than once despite his protestations of innocence.
Molly herself was cute as a button, and very good at getting what she wanted. A girl after my heart, she managed to finagle her way into a few shopping trips at Target to get really cool stuff like pink jelly shoes. Still, there were times that her dialogue was a bit unbelievable to me. I have an eight-year-old child, and worked with children in a pediatrics clinic for years. While children are indeed perceptive little crumb snatchers, I have yet to see any articulate those perceptions as Molly did a time or two ("I like them and you were rude. You made him mad. I saw you.").
Seth is surprised to learn that not only is David a massage therapist and a waiter, he's also got a degree in education and is the multipublished author of a series of popular children's books. All that and only twenty-six. Quite the overachiever, although with his hair trigger temper and propensity for assaulting people who upset him, I suppose it makes sense that he's working as a waiter and massage therapist rather than a teacher.
The two become friends long enough to have a suck and slobber session in a back alley, only to later find that someone photographed it and sent them both the pictures, presumably as blackmail, although there was never any note or demand. Coincidentally, Molly's father- who signed away all rights to her at birth- and Quinn, Bastage Ex-boyfriend, show up in town to generally harass and annoy the beleaguered Seth.
There are a few bits in the story that amused my muchly. One was Seth's rather flippant response to David's question about what a date with him would be like:
I pretended to think about it. “I’d invite you for dinner, something that I probably purchased ready-made. You don’t know this, but, uh, I don’t cook. And then I’d take you back to your place and fuck you until you couldn’t walk upright.”
Sounds enticing.
One part that completely made no sense to me is that Seth had lived in Smithfield for some time, and David professes to be fourth generation family there, but neither had met before the incident at the salon. David tells Seth that he's actually served him dinner at the restaurant several times, even. I know there's a bit of an age gap between the two, but in a small town where everyone pretty much knows everybody else, as Smithfield has been described as, it defies logic that Seth would not know David, or his parents, or any other of the four frickin generations of David's family who have lived there. Yes, Seth had been a bit isolated for a year or so due to family circumstances, but there was a time he got out and socialized, or would have met them through business contacts or something. Does not compute.
Overall, Happy Ending was competently written, but there was nothing that really drew me in or made me actually care much about any of the characters besides a sort of maternal empathy for Molly. Combine that with a rather truncated ending that was hastily wrapped in a pretty package with a pink bow on top for the HEA, and I have to say that the book was just a big ball of blah.
Blurb:Hajiri is a zonewarrior. A former gunwhore who once sold his body for money, he’s looking for the job that will let him move up in the live and die world of the Shinjuku Containment Area.
A chance meeting outside a popular Shinjuku club leaves Hajiri in the possession of a corporate high roller’s battlepet. A young human/snow leopard cross genetically engineered to be the perfect sexual partner and bodyguard.
The last thing Hajiri needs is a complication in his life. But how can he turn away a person who had been tossed out like so much trash, especially when that man just saved his life?
Hajiri doesn’t want responsibility. What Hajiri gets is a lot more than he bargained for when the young man shows him what it means to be a battlepet’s Master.
Bottom line up front:
Wow. Lots of cool sci-fi medical bits to make my inner nerd squee mixed with some spicy smexing. And that cover is just lickable. Want more!
The rest:
This is the first story I've read from either author, and I was fairly impressed with the duo's storytelling.
Hajiri is a battle worn assassin in a world where survival is the name of the game. He's a very complex character to ascertain; alternately ice cold murderer and caring Master to the lovely pet he acquired. He has a close but small circle of friends whom he trusts completely, so he's not going at it entirely alone. He is attacked outside a club and is rescued by a snow leopard mix battle pet, a bio engineered human/animal crossbreed reminiscent of Lora Leigh's Breed series. However, engineered servants and pets are the norm here, generally accepted by society's rich and indifferent, rather than a dirty secret.
Things get a little rough for Hajiri when a job he took goes tits up, and then he's grateful for the silver haired minx. The interactions between the naive but rather vicious battle pet and the jaded zonewarrior were alternately amusing and touching. Zen himself was my favorite type of uke: cute and sweet, but with that inner strength that is not to be tampered with. The little battlepet was more often saving Hajiri's bacon than being protected. Definitely not a lap pet.
I very much liked the alternate universe here. Having spent 3 years living in Japan, much of that time wandering about Shinjuku (first discovered yaoi there), it was an interesting exercise trying to match up the city of my memories with the futuristic one in this story. The premise of the story was plausible, even probable given the Japanese culture. Some of the descriptions of the body mods and battle augmentations were evocative of Morgan Hawke's Interstellar Service and Discipline series, another favorite of mine.
I had serious concerns about the consent here, which I found to be rather dubious in the beginning. Zen was born and bred with the idea that he was a worthless animal, and only bioengineered for his Master's pleasure. Zen's wants and needs were immaterial. Because Zen believed Hajiri to be his Master, it would have been difficult for sexual consent to be given. Indeed, Zen himself was shouting "I love you, Master!" at Hajiri within hours of meeting.
However, to his credit, Hajiri largely dismissed Zen's words for the trained responses they likely were and paid more attention to Zen's body language to get a better gauge of the pet's feelings. Hajiri actively encouraged Zen's independence and worked hard to make sure that Zen had as much freedom of choice as possible under the circumstances. The chip forcing Zen's compliance would have been removed if it were not deemed to be harmful to Zen.
There are few enough books that I watch the page numbers on, becoming sadder as the numbers get higher because it means that the story is about to draw to a close. I was genuinely sorry to get to the end of Hajiri's Pet , because I wasn't ready to stop reading. This book is going straight to that coveted spot on my keeper shelf, and I can't wait to read more of this world from these authors.
Blurb: Twenty-three-year-old Clark Stevens, a popular wide receiver with a potential NFL contract, has a few problems. He's got a jealous girlfriend, a narrow-minded and controlling father, an attention problem, and an unexpected and powerful attraction to the trauma doctor—the male trauma doctor—who treats him for a broken bone.
Dr. Jody Williams is getting some really mixed signals. He can't ignore how much he wants Clark, because it's obvious Clark feels the same way. For the out and proud doctor, the solution seems very simple. For Clark, it's not! His world is not gay-friendly, and the obstacles he's faced have led him to deny his sexuality for years.
It's the Super Bowl of disasters, no matter how you look at it. In the end, Clark has to decide if he's going to stick with the only life he's ever known or take a chance on a new one with Jody
Bottom line up front:
Disturbing and creepily annoying on so many levels that I only made it through the book by sheer force of will. That, and my wall insists that I stop throwing books at it.
The rest:
I think I got yet another book from DSP that was recycled fic. The book was released this month (Apr09), but the characters in the book kept saying, "It's 2003. People are more forward thinking." Either that, or the book took 6 years to write and publish. Either which way, that part could have been updated. Well, at least it's not recycled Star Trek fanfic, for which we are grateful. But I digress.
Clark is a star college football player in the Bay area with a broken arm. He goes to the emergency room to get casted and meets Jody, the ER doc on duty. Sparks fly, attraction is instantaneous, but there's a problem. Clark is deeply in the closet and not at all willing to come out of it.
Clark's father is a homophobic jackass who is a Folsom prison guard. The guy is both verbally and physically abusive to his children and his wife. When Clark has ADD, his father refuses to allow him to go on medications that would help him because they might interfere with football. Then the guy proceeds to blame the ADD on his mom, saying it's her fault for getting pregnant with the fifth child, as if she self impregnated or something. Although Clark is 23, his father controls every part of his life, never allowing him to do anything other than play football. Not being drafted by the NFL is not an option.
Consequently, Clark is reduced to a robotic mess, afraid of his own shadow. Taking control of his own life and telling his father to hop off a cliff is unthinkable. Instead, he dates and has sexual relations with women to maintain the illusion of being straight, even though he's know he liked men since puberty. Specifically, he's been in a semi-relationship with Nikki, who was picked out for him by his father. Nikki's father is also a guard at Folsom, and the two have been practically told to marry by their families. No input required from either of them, apparently.
When Clark falls in love with Jody, they have a real problem on their hands. Jody has always been out and proud in the gay community. At first, Clark tells his family that Jody is just his English tutor, which was true enough. Because Clark wasn't allowed to take the ADD medication that would have allowed him to be more focused in school, his grades are slipping and he's in danger of being booted off the football team. But when their relationship gets deeper, Jody refuses to hide and Clark has to come out to his family.
He starts with his mom, and that turns out just lovely:
“I love him, Mom.”
“Oh my God,” she wailed even louder. “He’ll kill us.”
“Jody is the kindest, gentlest man I know.”
“Not him, you fool. Your father!”
“It’s not a notion, Mom. It’s who I am.”
“No! The Clark I know is a man’s man. Women have thrown
themselves at you for years, and you’ve responded! Don’t give me this
bullshit about who you are. I know who you are! You’re a confused kid
with a mental disability. I’m your mother, for God’s sake. Don’t you
think I want the best for you?”
I stood. I’d heard enough. “What you want is the best for you and
Dad. You couldn’t care less about me. If you had really cared, you would
have let me go on Ritalin to spare me all the anxiety I’ve had to deal with
in school.”
“Oh, so now that’s my fault too? I’ve been hearing that for years.
Your father told me long ago that I should have stopped at four. That the
runt is always defective somehow.”
The dad goes completely off the deep end and hires a thug to kidnap Jody and have him beaten up, leaving the poor doc with a bruised body and broken ribs, along with the promise of death if Jody doesn't leave Clark alone. Of course, that didn't work, so Dad of the Year switches tactics and tells Clark that unless he goes back to dating Nikki and leaves Jody alone, he'll make sure Jody meets with a fatal accident.
All this, for the sake of having a son play pro football?
The other part of the book that got on my last nerve is that both Clark and Jody cried at the drop of a hat. Clark sat in his car "weeping like a girl", as he puts it, when he really wants Jody but doesn't want to get involved in a relationship. Jody cries whenever he thinks about Clark. They both cry all through the sex because it just so WUNNERFUL! There weren't many chapters that went by then Clark, Jody, or both were crying about something.
I could feel his body straining against me, his balls tightening and pulling up, and soon I was rewarded by the warm rush of his semen filling my mouth as he sobbed out my name over and over again. I swallowed like a pro, never missing a beat,and I realized that it was now official. I was definitely gay.
This from Clark after they had not only traded hand jobs, but he's been sucked off by Jody and had penetrative sex with the good doctor. So none of that was gay, but finally giving the guy a blowjob tipped him over the edge? Does that not sound ridiculous to the person writing that?
The only redeeming quality of the book was Lil, Jody's best friend. He amused me muchly. However, there were too many elements of the book that frustrated me to no end, so I didn't enjoy it at all. However, if this sounds like your cuppa, you can get Horizons here.
Blurb: On Joel’s birthday, he watched his lover Charlie drown while saving Joel’s life. Since then, no other man has been able to match the erotic chemistry the two of them once shared.
But a year later Joel is shocked to discover Charlie alive and well, looking as mysterious and attractive as ever. However, Charlie is different. He has new, arcane superpowers. He doesn’t seem to remember Joel at all.
And he murders people with his bare hands.
Suddenly Joel finds himself on the run from both his lover, and a frightening group of dangerous individuals who can wield the elements at will, and who are determined to kill him to keep their secret safe. But the smoldering looks Charlie gives Joel reminds him of their former, heated passion, and even with Charlie’s new homicidal tendencies, they discover their bodies remember what their minds may have forgotten…
Bottom line up front:
Weird, but interesting. This seems like the start of a series that I should have waited to read in the entirety. Somehow, I think I'd enjoy the books more that way.
The rest:
Joel is a professor who usually teaches military history at a local university. He calls in sick on his birthday to go for a nice romantic day on the ocean with his boyfriend, Charlie. It turns into the worst birthday ever when a storm comes out of nowhere and capsizes the boat. This opening salvo of the story confused me some. They both notice that what started out as a perfectly clear day has become oddly stormy, and that the waves are getting high enough to splash up the sides of the boat. Still, Charlie is giving Joel an inspired blowjob, and Joel isn't interested in having that cut short for the sake of a few waves.
Ok, I can understand that, but there's a huge storm outside. Twenty foot high waves are definitely enough to make their small boat rock significantly, so I'm having a hard time visualizing anyone able to keep dangly bits in their mouth without accidentally biting them when the boat has to be rocking violently.
But the highly talented Charlie doesn't stop until the mast snaps in half and the boat finally tips over. The two make it out of the capsized boat and onto the upturned keel. Somehow, Joel is rescued by a helicopter, but Charlie's body was never found. Worst birthday ever, and he didn't even get to orgasm.
A year later, Joel goes to a random bar far away from anyone who would recognize him to drown his birthday sorrows in a few whiskey sours. He is understandably shocked to look over to the bar and see a guy who looks exactly like Charlie sitting there with a group of friends. Charlie doesn't seem to recognize Joel, but Joel isn't ready to give up. He follows Charlie and his friends when they leave the bar and end up at some club place where he's definitely the odd man out. Joel's consternation turns into shock when he watches Charlie drown a woman.
When Joel tries to stop Charlie, he finds himself the target of a bunch of water element type beings who are actively trying to kill him. Charlie shows up at Joel's secret hiding spot and explains that he was never really human, but a water elemental known as the Valde. There was a battle long before humans roamed the earth, and Air and Earth elementals teamed up to entrap Fire and Water elementals in human bodies. They come to full awareness of their powers when they die in the manner of their element..water has to be drowned, fire burned to death, etc. Neat trick, considering that humans weren't in existence at that point.
Charlie shrugged. “I don’t know. There wasn’t life on the planet when we had our first great battle. The other battles we’ve had over the years have only been between Fire and Water, and we have been restricted by our human bodies.”
To explain why he drowned the woman:
“Mar recognized Sergeant Kal, another Water, in the body of that woman several days ago,” Charlie said. “That’s why we drowned her, Joel. We didn’t kill her. We woke Kal up.”
“How do you know she’s on your side?”
“She was one of the first Retributors who allied in 1732
That part I didn't get much. The person who started the whole Retributor movement only gets the rank of Sergeant? That's pretty darn low on the totem pole, even for the enlisted side. The least the rest of the gang could have done is given Kal, who apparently has more initiative then the rest of her peers, an officer position. Even Charlie was a Lieutenant.
Joel is crushed when he learns that Charlie has a Valde lover who just hasn't been awoken in this lifetime yet, a guy by the name of General Dev. Despite this, the two can't keep their hands to themselves, even though their relationship is unacceptable to the Valde and isn't helping Charlie any with Mar, the de facto leader until Dev shows up. It doesn't take Scooby Doo and the gang to solve the mystery of who Dev is, but it didn't take away from the book any. Dev is a fire elemental. The Valde in their human bodies are vulnerable and the bodies can be killed, at which point they're reincarnated into the body of some screaming baby somewhere to try again. So a jealous Water Valde who recognizes an unawakened Fire Valde spirit can drown him so he doesn't awaken in this lifetime.
I liked the writing here, and the premise of the story in The Valde: Water is an interesting one to explore. This book was slightly above average with the strong possibility of future books getting much better as the series develops. I'm not sure there will be more, but it does sound like it was left open, so the option exists.
Blurb:T.J. Jones never believed in love. A shape-shifting tomcat, he's had problems with one-night stands involving men who were horrified to find out what he was. After getting burned one too many times, he decides he'll shoot instead for becoming a grouchy lifelong bastard of a bachelor. That's before he runs into MacGowan, a smoking hot beach boy with an open heart and a sweet smile.
MacGowan, a ingenuous, open-hearted sex bomb, wants T.J.'s body, his love, his friendship, and his trust. T.J. doesn't dare tell MacGowan that he's a tomcat on the inside, but soon finds he has no choice when MacGowan's developing wizard's powers force the issue. Not only is he unwittingly MacGowan's familiar, but MacGowan's powers make him unable to control his shape-shifting.
A relationship's hard enough for an easy-going beach boy and a grumpy, closed-off bachelor. But what's a man to do when he's literally a tomcat?
Bottom line up front:
Cute and funny with some very dramatic moments, Tomcat Jones is Willa Okati at her best!
The rest:
Thomas Cattrell Jones (yeah. TomCat. funny.) shifts into a housecat. Not as inspiring as a panther or a jaguar, but he made do. TJ is rather cynical about the whole idea of love, after having had a lifelong run of bad luck in the area. Not everyone likes to wake up to a purring housekitty in their bed, you know? TJ was expounding on his disdain for love to his best friend and incurable human Arden when he literally bumps into MacGowan Smith at the grocery store. By strange and happy coincidence, MacGowan is in the process of moving in downstairs at the same apartment complex.
Attraction to MacGowan brings out TJ's inner kitty, which presents a bit of a dilemma for our intrepid hero. Telling MacGowan about his other side from the beginning would clear the air, but he really likes the guy and isn't quite ready to send him running for the hills yet. However, getting involved with his sexy neighbor and then busting out his inner cat later down the road could have disastrous consequences as well.
Not surprisingly, TJ goes with Option B and the smexing commences. TJ's choice almost immediately bites him in the ass when he wakes up the next morning in MacGowan's bed in cat form and finds himself unable to change back. But that isn't the only problem. MacGowan likes TJ's cat self and decides to adopt what he assumes is a stray. On top of that, there are brownies in MacGowan's house. No, not the super moist and chewy Duncan Hines ones. The magical kind that are attracted to other magical beings.
When MacGowan nearly suffered a crippling fall and the couch mysteriously slides to his rescue, MacGowan suddenly discovers that he's a wizard. TJ is shocked to learn that he's the guy's familiar. MacGowan doesn't know that the cat he's calling Buddy is his new lover and resolves to hide his new discovery from TJ, who also isn't giving up his little secret. The lack of communication continues to haunt the two through the whole book, causing multiple miscommunications and much heartache that could have been abated had they both come clean about their magical abilities.
The supporting cast of this story chimed in to make the book hilarious. Arden is completely human, but knows that TJ is a cat. They're followed about by a very powerful wizard, Mr. Jontan, for a reason that is never explained in the story. Arden is sassy and has a very mischievous sense of humor that gets both him and TJ in trouble.
The one who nearly stole the show is Sur Lune, psychokitty extraordinaire. Sur Lune was also a shifter, but has been permanently trapped in cat form, also for reasons that were never discussed in the story. However, the evil kitty went out of his way to make life difficult for TJ, and their snippy exchanges keeled me ded:
The wind must have been from the north. For once, T.J. didn’t smell Sur Lune before he saw him, or more accurately, before Sur Lune slithered over his foot and between his ankles. It was like being snuggled by a furry snake.
Sur Lune bared his teeth at T.J. in a nasty feline smirk. He couldn’t hear Sur Lune in human shape, but he understood the gist. Gotcha.
“Do that again and I’ll swing you around by your tail until unstoppable force meets immovable object.”
Sur Lune sneered at him. As if came through loud and clear. Also, you don’t have the balls.
Tomcat Jones is up high on the list of books I really enjoyed by Okati. While I find her work to be inconsistent at best, I do admire her for taking big risks in her writing. It just doesn't all work out. Still, this book is a great read, and I think most fans of the genre will find it delightful. I really hope that this series continues, as I'd like to learn more about Sur Lune's backstory, as well as see how Arden makes out (HA!) in his rather odd relationship.
Blurb: Nicholas Sayers, needing money for college, takes a job as assistant to infamous photographer Damian Wolfe. It's just taking pictures, right? Wrong. While Nick has never questioned what kind of man he is or what he truly wants in life, working for Damian during a BDSM photo shoot opens his eyes to all sorts of sexual possibilities, and many of them include the handsome Mr. Wolfe.
Damian has serious doubts about getting involved with a younger man who knows nothing about the BDSM lifestyle, but Nick's adventurous and humorous approach to new experiences is far too alluring to resist. Although he knows it might be a mistake, Damian takes Nick into his life.
Flirting on the edges of control, submission, and pain excites Nick more than he would have ever dreamed possible. With Damian, Nick learns about his own deeply hidden desires and finds out that relinquishing control doesn’t make him weak—having someone else in control of his sexual pleasure simply heightens it. And the reverse is true for Damian: Control turns him on. So they set out to explore these sensual boundaries together, neither expecting to find love along the way
Bottom line up front:
One of the better BDSM Lite books I've read lately. I haven't read this author before, but I think I'll take a look at their backlist.
The rest:
Sultry, sulky Nick is a study of contradictions. He starts out the book as a rather clumsy young man, tripping over equipment and breaking things in the office of Damian, the photographer he works for. He somehow allows himself to get suckered into modeling some items for a fetish toy catalog that his boss has been hired to shoot, and finds himself *really* liking the stuff. Oh, but he's not kinky though. He just inexplicably gets really hard when his boss pops him on the butt to make him stay still during the shoot. And then goes home and rubs a few out just thinking about that little swat. Not kinky though. Nope.
Nick has also decided that he's absolutely not gay. The 22-year-old man has only dated and slept with women, although apparently the sex was nothing to write home about. Even though he's very attracted to Damian, and very much enjoys their play, he still insists he's not at all gay, to the point that some of the scenes were almost laughable:
Nick gasped and threw back his head as Damian slid a finger along the valley between his buttocks, passing over his arsehole. “Don’t, please… don’t… touch me there…,” he begged, although it felt incredibly hot.
He felt that this was very gay, but it felt so sinfully good.
Seriously? All the spanking and spreader bars and handcuffs were fine, but if a guy touches your hole, then it's gay? Thankfully, Damian was around to explain it coherently to the confused Nick:
“Does it scare you to suspect that you’re gay?”
Nick nodded and then shook his head. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“If you find women attractive also, you’re probably bi. I’m gay,”
Damian said. “I only want to fuck beautiful boys like you,” he added, cuddling him. Nick stiffened in his arms.“You’re… you’re going to fuck me? You’ll never fit!” he exclaimed fearfully.
“I will do whatever I want to you. I don’t have to discuss it. I will decide what will please me and then you’ll do it. Is that clear?”
Damian is portrayed as a very emo Dom. He wants Nick and enjoys their play together, but spends the majority of the book alternately pushing Nick away, then dragging him closer. His problems stem from his own insecurities, and the odd certainty that at some point Nick is going to find someone younger and better and move on. These mixed signals very much confuse Nick, who is new to the whole scene and isn't sure what to make of Damian's moodiness. He chooses to excuse it as a Dom's prerogative most of the time, yet another sign of his own inexperience. Damian is constantly referred to in the book as an "older man" but he's only 32. The story harped on their age difference like this was a May/December romance, when I don't think 32 qualifies as all that ancient and decrepit.
The BDSM scenes for the most part are fairly tame. There's no edge play in this, or even any serious attempts to determine Nick's boundaries. Most of the scenes are over the knee spanking scenes, as one could extrapolate from the title, with the occasional flogger thrown in for variety towards the end of the book. People who like a little slap and tickle without the full on scene play would still be able to enjoy this book comfortably. There is a caning scene in the book, but it's between another Master and his sassy slave.
I would have liked to learn a little more of the characters at the outset, because the two didn't get into their back stories until 3/4 of the way through the book, and only then in an abstract fashion. At the very least, it shouldn't have taken most of the book for Nick to find out that Damian's name really isn't Damian, but just a working pseud for his work. Also, Damian was married in the past and has a child. That's sort of pertinent information that maybe should be talked about before all the smexing and spanking started. How does one roll over well into a relationship and finally tell their lover that the name they're shouting isn't a real name?
Still, I was fairly impressed with A Strong Hand, and would recommend it to anyone looking for a solid read.
Blurb:When Steven helps his neighbor Devon move into the studio apartment upstairs, he can't help but drool. And that's all. Devon is straight and totally off limits. Knowing, though, doesn't stop the desire Steven fights every time the two men are together, which is a lot since Steven has decided to take Devon under his wing until the young man can get his life together.
Bottom line up front:
Wow. Mykles did it again. Wrote the second book in as many months that I really didn't like. How odd, considering that this author was an autobuy for me. Definitely reconsidering that now. This makes two strikes. One more and off the list you go.
The rest:
How does someone put three incredibly unlikeable characters in one story and try to make it a romance with at least an HFN?
Devon is 22-years-old and disgustingly irresponsible. Nothing that goes wrong in his life is ever his fault. His parents paid his way through four years of college, but when he messed around and failed up come up with a degree, they very legitimately stopped financing his party time. Devon immediately blames his parents for being mean to him, not his lack of dedication. After four years of higher education with absolutely nothing to show for it, Devon is forced to *gasp* live on his own, pay his own rent, and get a job as a delivery driver. Even this, Devon manages to mess up. He's chronically late getting to work in the morning, but it's not HIS fault he can't hear the alarm going off, or that he has trouble getting to sleep at night. It's his alarm's fault for not being loud enough.
Steven meets Devon when Devon moves in to the same building. He's instantly attracted to the younger guy, whom he continually refers to as a 'lost puppy'. Steven's been a little unlucky in love in the past....maybe because he turns himself into a doormat. When Devon's car breaks down, Steven gives him money to pay for it. When Devon is a little short on the rent one month, Steven gives him rent money. When he finds out that Devon can't be bothered to get his ass up and make it to work on time, Steven gets up at 3am every morning, coffee and bagels in hand, to physically wake Devon up and send him on his way. He even makes dinner for both Devon and Patty every night, even though he's pretty exhausted when he gets home.
Patty, Steven's neighbor and token 'fag hag', as she's described in the book, brings up the rear guard in this trio of losers. Patty is intrusive and invasive, inserting herself into every corner of Steven's life with no sense of personal boundaries. Patty takes it upon herself to out Steven to everybody, including a prospective boss that Steven invites over to dinner one night. She constantly blurts out private details of Steven's life to anyone who will listen, in front of the poor guy, no less, and Steven is too much of a doormat to tell her to shut the hell up. The woman doesn't even have the common courtesy to leave when Devon and Steven are having an obviously intimate argument about the status of their relationship; instead, she just stands there and listens to the whole thing. It wasn't until Steven had a rare moment of gumption and politely asked her to leave that she hauled her ass to her own apartment.
Devon decides to have sex with Steven when Steven hooks Devon up with a job that more meets his preference for a later start time. As Devon rather romantically puts it, "Lets do this." It got even more romantic when Steven started thinking about...well, this:
Steven gripped the arm about his shoulders, entirely unable to keep his hips from rocking back into the steely hardness that taunted him. Did he just imagine that his hungry ass was weeping, aching for that cock to make a home inside him? Probably, but it was a really vivid image.
And now I have an image of a ass crack that has turned into a voracious, drooling Venus Fly Trap, complete with shark teeth. Seriously, if there's fluid weeping out of your anus and it's not just diarrhea, I'd recommend a visit with your physician. That's not supposed to happen.
I didn't believe the HEA at the end, mostly because Steven didn't really trust in it either. He was fixated on Devon being straight, and was absolutely convinced that Devon would one day wake up and blame Steven for turning him gay.
He kept his touch deliberately light, not wanting this to be over too soon and not sure how long Devon would stick around after he’d come. This might be his only shot, and Steven was determined to make the most of it.
And really, I didn't really want them to be together anyways. Devon needs to spend a little time on his own growing up so he can hold up his end of the relationship, without turning Steven into a sugar daddy who will bail him out and get him new jobs whenever he manages to screw another good thing in his life up.
I have liked Mykles since I first read Snagged years ago. I think after reading both Devon Cream and Sursein Judgment I'll be sticking to her yaoi work and leave the rest for others. I can't even say that long time fans of hers would enjoy this, because I AM a long time fan, and it was fairly craptastic. You've disappointed me muchly, Mykles, and that makes me sad.
However, if you feel so inclined, Devon Cream may be purchased here.
Blurb: Jerek had long dreamed of finding the mythical citadel of ice with his strong, handsome lover, Emmanuel. Their search led them to years of enslavement aboard a steamship with only each other for comfort until Emmanuel committed a terrible betrayal and left Jerek to follow his dream alone.
Now, three years after escaping the ship, Jerek has found the citadel and a northern lover: mute, shape-shifting Piaktok, who teaches Jerek a new language of love and lust. They’re content until desperate, snow-blind Emmanuel finds his way to the citadel and reignites Jerek’s desire.
Despite their mutual attraction, Jerek cannot forgive or forget the past and unleashes his anger on Emmanuel. Piaktok, in turn, treats Emmanuel with tenderness, sparking love between them. Emmanuel tries to tell Jerek the truth about his “betrayal,” but Jerek refuses to listen. One last fit of rage sends Emmanuel and a gravely injured Piaktok fleeing from the man they love.
Too late, Jerek realizes his errors. If he can find a way to melt the ice around his heart, the three of them will have a sexual and spiritual bond unlike any other. If he can’t, Piaktok will die, and he’ll lose Emmanuel forever.
Bottom line up front:
If you like spending about 35 pages of the book reading about a young guy being raped repeatedly, then get brutally beaten by his lover later on for not doing enough to stop the rape, you'll LOVE this book *trout stare*.
The rest:
Can I say that a book made me wanna gouge my eyes out yet? No? Too soon? Very well then.
Jerek and Emmanuel are two orphans who grew up together on the streets in the south. Jerek is the dreamer of the group, and Emmanuel just sort of follows along for the adventure.
Jerek meets a woman from the North and was inspired by her tales. She tells him about a magical place called the Citadel, which is to be ruled by an Ice King from a land far away. She gives him a token of the Citadel as a gift. Being the darling he is, Jerek asks for a token for his lover as well. He ends up with a dog pendant, which delights him. As Jerek very charmingly remarks:
"A dog. It's perfect. Dogs are loyal and loving, like Emmanuel is..."Because nothing says love like being compared to Man's Best Friend, right?
Shortly thereafter, they get an opportunity to join the crew of a ship and sail in search of this mythical Citadel. A little too late, they figure out that the ship is actually a priate ship, and the Captain has a thing for Emmanuel.
Captain Harper blackmails Emmanuel into taking it up the butt in exchange for Jerek's safety on the ship. Jerek knows that Emmanuel is doing something with someone and feels betrayed. The Captain, jealous of their relationship, makes it sound like Emmanuel is cheating for the fun of it, and Jerek feels betrayed enough to hop overboard butt naked in frigid waters and take off. Full disclosure: I mostly skimmed through pages 25-60, which is how long the author drew out all the non-con in loving detail.
Emmanuel finally breaks free a year or so later and goes hunting for his lost love. He ends up going snow blind and is picked up by a bunch of polar bears, and this is where the story gets extra weird.
By now, Jarek found the Citadel and has become the Ice King. He also has a new lover, a tongueless seal shifter by the name of Piaktok. He is nursed back to health by Piaktok, who feeds him...wait for it...seal meat.
"Isn't this like...like being a cannibal?" "These are common seals, nothing like the Seals among my people."Ok, so it's perfectly fine to eat something of a similar species because it's not like they can talk about it anyways. That strikes me alot like eating the Geico caveman, then excusing the action by saying the guy was so simple, even cavemen get eaten.
But wait, it gets better.
The two Bears, dressed in the same white fur as their ice bear counterparts...Yeah. Even the shifter bears kill and skin their cousins for fur. What's a little skin between family? A guy gets cold, you know?
Anyways, Emmanuel is in Jerek's dungeon. Jerek shows up a few times to kick the snot out of Emmanuel for his supposed betrayal. Piaktok takes pity on the poor abused guy and gives him a friendly, if tongueless, blow job. This is another part of the story I found to be utterly unbelievable. Emmanuel spent the better part of the year being raped and finally escapes to find his One True Love in a barren arctic wasteland. Having found Jarek, the first thing Emmanuel does is let a perfect stranger suck him off. Huh?
Jerek is stuck having to choose between the two men he loves. Luckily, he hits on the perfect solution...turn the story into a menage! Now all he has to do is convince the other two.
I haven't read anything by Berry before, and I don't anticipate that I will be anytime in the near future. However, if this book sounded at all interesting to you, feel free to wander over and get your copy here.
Blurb:Dominic is a witch, Carter is a descendent of infamous witch hunters. When Carter's cousin attacks him in a parking lot, Dominic comes to his aid. Just what can the two men expect from one another, especially when Cousin Simon is determined to eliminate another witch from the world?
Bottom line up front:
Hilariously funny and too cute for words, Cooking With Ergot is an absolutely delightful read.
The rest:
Some witches become world-renowned magicians on stage in Las Vegas or someplace glamorous, but Dominic? Well, he hosts a cooking show called Midnight Gourmet. He's making a haunted gingerbread house for the show and needed someone to playact exorcising a ghost from it. Unfortunately, the person lined up to appear canceled at the last minute and the producer brought in Carter Brooks.
Carter is the seventh son of a seventh son in a long line of witch hunters. Witches have a habit of disappearing permanently whenever Carter comes to town. Obviously Dominic isn't pleased that he will be coming into contact with Carter. He tries to explain his reasoning to his producer, but- despite having worked with Dominic for a year- she doesn't believe he's a real witch, or that Carter could be a witch hunter.
Dominic decides to take things into his own hands and goes looking for Carter...hunt the hunter, as it were. Imagine his surprise when he gets to the bookstore where Carter is doing a signing and finds a guy in the process of getting shot at by his super evil cousin, who has delusions of witch hunter grandeur. Not knowing that Carter is the Carter Brooks, Dominic takes the guy home for protection and ends up Choosing him. Nearest I could figure out, it works similar to a vampire Chosen. By the time Dominic finds out who Carter really is, he decides that Carter couldn't be the one killing all the witches.
Blaise, Dominic's familiar, very nearly stole the show from the two main characters. Dominic created Blaise when he was only eight, using some of his favorite characteristics:
He’d begun gathering the magic for Blaise when he was six.It took him two years, and when he cast the spell, he concentrated on everything he thought a familiar should have. He wanted it to be as intelligent as Merlin. As courageous as the Scarlet Pimpernel. As cool-sounding as Peter Cushing.I don't know if I buy that an eight-year-old child read and understood Scarlet Pimpernel, but Blaise the morphing stuffed tiger familiar was too cute. I loved how he kept popping up on Carter, who had no idea that Blaise was animate. He almost ended up with a serious complex, waking up to see a stuffed tiger staring at him, or having it pop up in odd places.
The other thing I absolutely *loved* about this book are the recipes sprinkled throughout. They're sprinkled through with snarky comments that had me rolling. This one for grilled cheese sammiches is a particular favorite:
Blaise’s Grilled Cheese
American cheese white bread
two slices of tomato, thin pinch of kosher salt
2 Tbsp unsweetened butter
Melt the butter.
Take a brush and lightly coat one side of each piece of bread.
You do have a brush, don’t you?
Turn off stove. Go to store and buy a brush.
Get some extra cheese, bread, and butter while you’re there, too.
Start over.
Heat the pan on medium. MEDIUM. While the bread will grill quickly on a higher
setting, the yummy cheese won’t have a chance to melt.
Sandwich placement: bread, cheese, a couple thin slices of tomato, cheese, and then
the last slice of bread.
Grill the sandwich. I like a nice golden hue, but the darker hues do have a pleasant crunch.
After the sandwich is done, let it rest for a moment.
Cut sandwich into quarters. Leave it on the table and walk away. Don’t look back.
If Prieto wrote an actual cookbook like this, it would be an autobuy for me. Wonderful way to make cooking simple stuff fun.
The other thing that amused me muchly was this
Carter got a cabin up in serial killer county, Massachusetts.Because I totally know these two authors in the same area who qualify as the killers. Run, Carter!
Overall, Cooking With Ergot was just so dang FUN to read. There were times the story narrowly avoided being a parody, but managed to be restrained in time. I'd very much like to read another book in this series, perhaps with Dominic's brother, Justin. Either which way, Ergot is a must read!
Blurb:Kim is in his last year of high school and just hopes to make it through the year without running into any gay bashing. The thing is, Kim is not only gay, but he's transgender, too. He's unhappy and lost in his female body, and his mother has agreed it's time for him to undergo hormone therapy and possibly surgery.
Things get even more complicated when university student Dash joins Kim's mother's coven. Dash is immediately attracted to Kim and they wind up going out together, but when Kim reveals he's a female to male transgender, Dash reacts badly.
With all the other things going on in their lives, will Kim and Dash be able to try again and find happiness with each other?
Bottom line up front:
This is not a book I would normally read, but it sucked me in at a point when I was ready to throw it against the wall. I was quite disappointed at the abrupt ending.
The rest:
Ok, I'll admit it. I didn't read the blurb before I randomly downloaded and started reading. Nor would I have downloaded the book had I read the blurb, because reading about pre-op T's are just not my thing, yanno? However, I was rather pleasantly surprised, and really got into Kim's head as he transitioned. Even outside of the romance elements, it was an absolutely fascinating walk through the life of an FTM.
Kim hasn't had an easy life. Once he got out of the tomboy stage and realized he was a gay boy trapped in a woman's body, things started to go downhill. As in suicidal, taking razor blades to his hated breasts downhill. Owwie. Thankfully, he was the child of a rather bohemian witch who was wonderfully understanding and got Kim into much needed therapy.
We meet Kim during his senior year in high school. He's switched schools, which would suck in and of itself, because teenaged cliques...yeah. Not fun. But everyone at his other school knew him as Annie, and that just wouldn't do. Not that it was a particularly successful transfer. Kim was constantly picked on by classmates for being a pretty little 'fag'.
Luckily for Kim, one of the members of his mom's coven has a little money and a lot of compassion, so Kim goes forward with androgen shots and gets a few fancy prosthetics. In that vein, the readers are treated to an...eye opening dissertation on Kim's various prosthetics and how he applies them, from Boris- which is a sort of home made stuffed tube- to the more lifelike penis and balls and one with a P-string that enabled Kim to stand at the urinal and pee like a man. The scene where Kim's mom is in the bathroom with him, helping Kim shave his nether region and glue the dangly bits on was definitely cringe inducing. I'd pass out if my mom had to come shave my vag for me. Maybe stab myself in the neck or something.
Things start looking up for Kim when he meets Dash, the newest member of his mom's coven. While Kim himself repeatedly says that he thinks the coven is crazy and possibly deluded, he doesn't seem to mind that Dash is a member. Kim himself is not in the coven. The two click and the flirting starts. All is going well until they finally go on their first date. It starts with a kiss that gets out of hand, and Dash starts dragging Kim back to his room. Of course, Dash still thinks Kim is just a pretty twink at this point, so Kim has to come clean. Dash legitimately freaks a bit, and Kim is back to being depressed and boyfriendless.
Dash thinks about it a bit and tries to work things out. The two still have issues to work through- like the whole 'how the frick do we have sex' thing, and it's fascinating to see how they go about tackling those issues. On that subject, there was a scene that could have just not been included without taking away from the story:
"Dash? Please?"Honestly, I could have happily lived out my life without that visual. But we digress.
Dash let Kim’s cock slide out of his mouth. "Sure, but you’ll have to give me directions."
Kim said, "Oh, you won’t be able to miss it."
Dash carefully lifted the weight of Kim’s latex balls up and said, "Fuck. You’re not
wrong."
Kim said, "Yeah, I know. That’s what 200 mg of T does to you." He had a clit that was just about big enough to need an email address of its own.
To that end, the other thing that really interested me here is that the two have vaginal intercourse. I do understand that transgendered FTM identify as males, but it really gets things twisted in an m/m book when vaginas and clit licking get integrated into the sex scenes.
The only other thing I felt was off in the story were some of the witchy ritual bits. The coven members all took on different names during rituals, and were referred to by those names. It took me a bit to figure out who was whom in the story when the names of the characters were so interchangeable. Also, there were a few mentions of cat flap spells added into the wards because the cat would smash ginormous holes in a ward every time he walked through one. I haven't done the Wiccan thing in a bit, but I have never heard of a ward that animals couldn't freely walk through. It defies belief that a cat could poke a hole in a ward, unless the thing was possessed or something.
Overall, Circle of Change was a refreshing change from the norm, a story with an interesting story arc and engaging characters. I very much enjoyed the read, but really, *really* think it will be a long time before I read a similar story. I'm very glad that I mistakenly downloaded this book, because I'd have missed out on a good story otherwise.
Circle of Change will be released next month as part of Torquere Press' Screwdriver line.
I'm all teary-eyed and shiyt *sniffles*
Anyways, back to the reviews....
- kitteh feels...:
grateful
Gacked from Smart Bitches, since I'm too tired to type stuff up myself:
In short: someone in Amazon has utter shit for brains.
Authors such as Jaci Burton, Maya Banks, Larissa Ione and Stephanie Tyler have reported that since being stripped of their sales rankings, their titles are no longer found in searches on Amazon.com. MetaWriter is also compiling a list of titles that have been stripped of their sales rank.
When pressed for a reason, Amazon.com’s customer service department told YA author Mark Probst:
In consideration of our entire customer base, we exclude “adult” material from appearing in some searches and best seller lists. Since these lists are generated using sales ranks, adult materials must also be excluded from that feature.
What, I ask, the fucking fuckhell? Many an Amazon customer is infuriated, and the #amazonfail hashtag on Twitter has pretty much become the only thing worth following. What to do, what to do?
It’s time to hit ‘em where it hurts. No, not a boycott. When you want someone to pay attention, you hit ‘em in the PR.
It’s Google Bomb Time!
We did it for Bill Napoli. Now it’s Amazon’s turn. As always, fuckwittery should not go unrewarded. We propose the following entry be entered into the lexicon:
Amazon Rank
amazon rank
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): amazon ranked
1. To censor and exclude on the basis of adult content in literature (except for Playboy, Penthouse, dogfighting and graphic novels depicting incest orgies).
2. To make changes based on inconsistent applications of standards, logic and common sense.
Etymology: from 12 April 2009 removal of sales rank figures from books on Amazon.com containing sexual, erotic, romantic, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered or queer content, rendering them impossible to find through basic search functions at the top of Amazon.com’s website. Titles stripped of their sales rankings include “Bastard Out of Carolina,” “Lady Chatterly’s Lover,” several romance novels, GLBTQ fiction novels, YA books, and narratives about gay people.
Example of usage: “I tried to do a report on Lady Chatterly’s Lover for English Lit, but my teacher amazon ranked me and I got an F on grounds that it was obscene.”
Alternate usage: “My girlfriend wanted to preserve her virginity, and I was happy to respect that, then she amazon ranked and decided anal sex was okay.”
Making this the top result, which is also dependent upon algorithms and shit, requires help from you savvy folks.
I’ve created a page with the definition for “amazon rank.” http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/a
Amazon Rank
This is known as Google-bombing.
Second of all: Urbandictionary.com. We’re creating a definition and if it’s approved, you can vote on it to increase its prominence. Link to definition to come soon.
All you have to do is link to the page using these words: Amazon Rank. The more you do it, the higher up in rank the page will go, and the more successful it will be. One would hope.
The goal: that “Amazon Rank” points to the definition that underscores Amazon.com’s shortminded censorship and inconsistent policing of what ought to be accessible to the book buying public.
- kitteh feels...:
annoyed
No, not every book I read is the best book ever. The large majority are- surprise- average. A few are good, and an even smaller percentage are omfg great. Same goes the other way. Some books really DO suck hairy donkey ballz. Sorry people, but thems the facts. However, if you'll look at my nifty tags, the books I liked and the books I loved far outweigh the books that sucked fuzzy rocks.
I *want* every book I read to be the best story ever. Hell, I paid for it, didn't I? I'm not out there spending money on books just so I can snark them. I don't have that kind of money, kids. Similarly, I'm not out to yank the tail clean off every author for shits and giggles. I don't operate that way. I will be your biggest cheerleader if you write a book that moves me to tears, but that same bullhorn will be in your face if you write crap. You can't have the good without the bad bits of me. Sorry. Maybe one day I'll become a sheep and just follow the fuzzy butt in front of me, but not today.
Last point I want to make: I'm an opinionated bitch. I've never been good at trying to be popular. I don't rate books higher than I think they should be to get more friends or to get more people to send me free books. The only thing I guarantee every single time is a 100% honest opinion. I realize there are consequences to not taking the easy path, and I'm dealing with some of those now, but that's life.
That is all.
- kitteh feels...:
contemplative
You all read my reviews. You know how I write them. There's books I like, and I squee muchly every time I get one. Unfortunately, there are books I don't like so much, and I say so.
I try to provide examples directly from the text of the parts that moved me either which way to support my statements and give a better global understanding of what I'm referring to. I know not every author is happy with every one of my reviews, but I have several who request that I review their work, which I do gladly. No guarantees the review will be positive, but I will always be honest about it.
So I get this email, and I'm not sure what to do.
I have been avoiding talking to you about this hoping it would go away because I'm not sure how you will take it. Life is never easy and sometimes you just have to be straightforward.
As I mentioned to you sometime ago, a number of authors have written me requesting that I do not send you their books to review since they didn't appreciate your style of reviewing. Recently the publishers have gotten in on the action and several of them have written within the past couple of weeks requesting that I give their books to other reviewers. Basically what they have said is that they will not give their books to a reviewer who trashes them. Their main objection is the tone of your reviews and I'm paraphrasing here - your reviews come across as extremely snarky, not just in the reviews themselves but in the comments following the reviews .... they don't have any issue with reviewers posting negative reviews of their books but they feel that your reviews are unprofessional. The bottom line is they are not prepared to offer their books to a reviewer who calls stories she doesn't like "craptastic" "suckage" and makes reference to gouging her eyes out, is disrespectful and cruel, especially following up on reviews she has posted of stories she doesn't like. Some of us have problems writing reviews on books that we don't like for whatever reason. As you know, I hate writing negative reviews but I do them more frequently now and I always have to find the right words to use and try to be helpful.
So we have a problem with few options. Since I'm rapidly running out of books for you to review I could do what I did originally when you agreed to post your reviews here - I could cherry pick your reviews from your Livejournal and suggest the ones to be posted here. Obviously I can't select those from some publishers, which makes it difficult. Honestly, I'm at a loss here. I like you on a personal level, I enjoy our discussions, I think you're funny and we have fun together and I don't want this to affect our relationship. I don't know if you have any other suggestions of how we can work around this.
You'll probably be angry when you receive this email but I have no option since basically I have been given ultimatums by several publishers who supply the books to be reviewed.
So basically people are trying to dictate to me how my reviews are going to go. There are many reviewers like Harriet Klausner, who only post positive reviews for this very reason. They're getting books for free and don't want to alienate the publishers who are giving them the goodies.
I've always sort of read books randomly and posted my thoughts for whoever cared to read them, if anyone.
So the question is...should I continue to review books how I always have, or become all sweetness and light and only review the books I absolutely *love*?
ETA: this post is just about your opinions of my reviews. It's not intended to bust anyone out or anything like that. This time (ok, most of the time) it's all about me. Really.
- kitteh feels...: aggravated
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