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Random Moments, Part II

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So I'm reading science/health type stuffs, because I'm a nerd like that, and I come across this article here about fruit bats and oral sex.

My favorite part, aside from the whole concept of bats and oral sex? This:
Intriguingly, the female lowered her head to lick the male penis during 14 of 20 copulations recorded on video. The licking typically went on for some 19 seconds, or roughly one-twelfth the average time of copulation. The male never withdrew from the female when she performed fellatio.


Fuck me if that doesn't sound like a scene from a Lora Leigh book!

But then I got to thinking...well, why not? I would totally give $500 to any m/m author (because SO not interested in girl cooties) who can work that scene into a book and sell it. For reals. If you're stuck on your NaNo WIP, here's your push, lol.

ETA: Because I'm surrounded by smart assed fuckers...
1) Bats. Like shifty mammal bats of any sub-type that naturally occurs in the wild..vampire, fruity, whatevs. No Batman costumes or dudes prancing in pleather and playtex.

2)Sell. To a publisher. Who will then publish your book. Writing some crap that you give to your play partner/ fuck buddy/ spouse/ circle jerk team member for 50 cents does NOT count as a sell.

3)M/M only. No girl cooties or fag hags with a rabies fetish.

4)No other rules, because rules are boring and make my ADD twitch.

Comments

( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
krisngoodbooks
Nov. 3rd, 2009 10:27 pm (UTC)
It sounds EXACTLY like a scene from LL. LOL.

Yanno, that you're gonna be inundated with people demanding their 500 bucks for including that scene right. But damned if it wouldn't be fucking funny.
emmyjag
Nov. 3rd, 2009 10:44 pm (UTC)
absolutely worth it to start my own trope, and get my very own patented Kris "is it just me...?" post
krisngoodbooks
Nov. 3rd, 2009 10:54 pm (UTC)
Maybe it's me, but...

... other than the fact that having bats and oral sex in the same context is mildly disturbing to say the least, you gotta admire the ideas kitteh who came up with it and the m/m author who actually had the gonads to run with it in a story.

Either that or wonder what the fuck they were on on that particular day...

... and ask 'em where someone might be able to get some of that.
emmyjag
Nov. 3rd, 2009 10:59 pm (UTC)
LOL!

Hey now, this totally has plausibility in a vampire/other paranormal shapeshifty type story. No different than reading about werewolves or cats in various points of shift.
krisngoodbooks
Nov. 3rd, 2009 11:07 pm (UTC)
The fuck, kitteh. Now we're also gonna get a were-fruit bat story, which for some reason conjures up images of cross dressing.

O_o

God. A character who is drag queen, were-fruit bat! That would be fucking awesome.

lolololololololololol
emmyjag
Nov. 4th, 2009 01:19 am (UTC)
a fruity bat? >.
krisngoodbooks
Nov. 4th, 2009 01:24 am (UTC)
Or a Bat Queen of Fruits. *g*
jaye_valentine
Nov. 4th, 2009 12:53 am (UTC)
Did somebody say 'nads?
You have no idea how tempting this is, but Reno would probably strangle me. :-)
emmyjag
Nov. 4th, 2009 01:18 am (UTC)
Re: Did somebody say 'nads?
I double dog dare you. That's quick and easy Xmas money. You could get yourself a new pair of stillettos. And, if you catch Prada during an after Thanksgiving sale there might be enough left over for a new pencil skirt.
libras_art
Nov. 6th, 2009 12:02 am (UTC)
Re: Did somebody say 'nads?
Do it. Do it. Do it...

... and to Reno: One of us. One of us. One of us...
emmyjag
Nov. 6th, 2009 12:10 am (UTC)
Re: Did somebody say 'nads?
THIS.
katiebabs
Nov. 4th, 2009 01:39 am (UTC)
shape shifting bat oral sex.

Oh the fun I could have writing that!

What if some dude was in a bat costume like a Disney World character or something?
emmyjag
Nov. 4th, 2009 01:58 am (UTC)
Wanna be Batman in a Halloween costume is *cheating*

glares.
katiebabs
Nov. 4th, 2009 02:03 am (UTC)
Aw poop. There are certain rules now?
jaye_valentine
Nov. 4th, 2009 04:31 am (UTC)
See, we totally need rule definitions here.

Do they have to be actual bats, with actual bat-abilities and bat-proportions (not to mention bat-times and bat-channels)?

What does "sell it" mean? I could technically write it and sell it to any ol' Tom, Dick, or Pervy for a penny, so that should probably be clarified.

I'm enjoying this way too much. :-)

emmyjag
Nov. 4th, 2009 04:40 am (UTC)
see above :P
jaye_valentine
Nov. 4th, 2009 04:43 am (UTC)
Define "publisher." :-)
emmyjag
Nov. 4th, 2009 04:45 am (UTC)
the places you've been submitting all your other mss to
jourdanlane
Nov. 4th, 2009 05:18 am (UTC)
NOW I get it. Was so lost on Twitter!

*giggles*

I adore you, kitteh!
emmyjag
Nov. 4th, 2009 06:20 am (UTC)
*happy wiggles*

much love *smish*
id_locke
Nov. 4th, 2009 01:17 pm (UTC)
I would so write this if I had character (and the time) *sigh*.

I have written something sort of (but not really) similar in a fanfic. In my Saiyuki fic BBE, I have Sanzo fucking Gojyo and Gojyo sucking himself off at the same time that Sanzo is ploughing his ass. This is entirely possible, too. I've seen it done in a porno *nods*. God, I love researching stuff for the things I write *leers*.
emmyjag
Nov. 4th, 2009 07:49 pm (UTC)
I...you did?...and they...for reals...?

>.<

You should so write this!!
id_locke
Nov. 4th, 2009 08:23 pm (UTC)
It's part of my epic sized Saiyuki fanfic. It started life as a PWP but... Plot snuck in there and now... yeah. Basically, every chapter in the early part of BBE has a different kink. Later chapters still have different kinks, but Plot goes in an messes with the sex *snicker*.

BBE - 2 Pleasure Bound

Be advised that this chapter is NC-17 and has a warning for bondage, spanking and self-suck.

The rest of BBE can be found here Saiyuki Serial: Beautifully Broken Evolution Master List Most chapters are NC-17 and contain additional warnings for:
*gun kink
*self-suck
*BDSM in varying levels
*oral
*toys
*questionable use of candy
*3-some
*voyeurism
*feltching

There's probably more stuff of a warning nature that I'm forgetting off the top of my head.
emmyjag
Nov. 5th, 2009 08:50 pm (UTC)
what? no figging?? you disappoint me :P
id_locke
Nov. 5th, 2009 09:02 pm (UTC)
The questionable use of candy falls under that one. A variant of cinnamon candy was used on Sanzo by Gojyo with rather good results *grins*.

Annnnd I forgot to add water demon sex and antenna kink to that list.
zoenichols
Nov. 5th, 2009 11:47 pm (UTC)
I love how this is still fucking hilarious days after the fact. Kitteh is made win!
emmyjag
Nov. 6th, 2009 12:10 am (UTC)
True *pets*. I shall keep you. And call you George.
( 27 comments — Leave a comment )

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